Big Boys DO Cry

Hello, Aunt Kay

First, let me congratulate you on a wonderful website! An attractive background, pretty flowers, pleasant music - a wonderful setting for a discussion of corporal punishment for naughty husbands!

It was so good to find a site that offered a pleasant, homey atmosphere rather than the harsh dungeon environment. We were very glad to find there are other couples involved in similar activities to ours. We have looked at the leather and whips scene, but it is not for us. It lacks the vital compassion and love that we consider so important for domestic punishment. What happens in this house is good old-fashioned, over the knee spanking. It is the only position we ever use, and the only implement we have found necessary is a strap. My wife Fiona has punished me a number of times this way over the last 4-5 years, and I must admit I have deserved every bit of it.

Here is what she does:

She takes the strap from our wardrobe, and sits on the stool by her dressing table. Fiona gives me a good scolding, and finishes by pulling down my trousers and underpants. She puts me over her knee and gives me a few sharp whacks with the strap, which stings like crazy and makes me gasp. There is a pause, then more whacks. This continues for a while, with frequent scolding, until my rear end is sore and burning. Then I have to stand up and take all my clothes off, and put myself back over her knee for the 'proper' spanking to begin.

There is nothing subtle about the use of the strap from this point onwards. It is not a game; I am genuinely punished and there are no more pauses. I take my spanking as best I can, usually promising to be good in future and pleading for her not to smack so hard. Of course this makes no difference, and the spanking goes on and on and on until my bottom and upper thighs are seriously red.

And that is when we approach my limit. There comes a point, as all well-spanked husbands should know, when it all becomes too much. The fire in my backside rages out of control, and I know I can't take much more. My pleading and promising becomes garbled and desperate, tears start flowing and I beg her to stop. At that point I will do anything, absolutely *anything* to bring the punishment to an end. I cannot possibly take even one more lick from that strap.

And of course, the punishment does not stop at all. My wife is well aware of what is happening to me and just keeps on smacking because she knows I deserve what happens next. We both know I deserve it. I close my eyes and burst into tears like a little boy, and my words all run together into a meaningless bawl as I honestly learn my lesson. How many smacks I get from this point onwards is entirely up to my wife, who is firm but fair. A dozen is usual, but I may get more or less depending on my recent behaviour. Every smack she gives me opens a new world of fire and pain in my bottom, and I just surrender to her punishment and cry my heart out.

I continue to cry for some time after the spanking has finished. Fiona keeps me over her knee, and when I am able to hold a conversation again, she asks if I have anything to say. I pour out all manner of promises, telling her how I will be a good boy from now on, and that I am very sorry, and begging her not to spank me anymore. And I mean every word of it. I usually spend a good while laying on the bed afterwards, face down, feeling the raging fire continue to blaze all across my backside. It continues for a long, long time.

You know the classic line about "having to sleep on your stomach" after a hard spanking? It is perfectly true.

Tim & Fiona

Additional note from Fiona:

Dear Aunt Kay,

I was amazed when Tim called me to look at your page, I thought we were the only ones who used *genuine* punishment as part of our marriage. When he said he wanted to describe his spankings to you, I didn't think he was serious - you should have seen his face when he saw it this morning! I laughed and gave him a big hug; he is very proud now.

I honestly do believe that most men are still just naughty boys, they may have grown up physically, but their behaviour has not changed since they were in school. I don't have to punish Tim often but when I do, I see myself as his mother rather than his wife. Being put over my knee is obviously not something he takes lightly, but we both know it is done for his own good.

What a difference it would make if responsible women were running this world, instead of spoilt bratty little boys!

Even Steven

Dear Aunt Kay,

Wow! I thought I was the only husband in the world who got spanked by his wife. I charged two of her credit cards to the limit last year and didn’t tell her. Anyway, to make a really long story short, she found out while trying to make surprise vacation arrangements for us and couldn't use the cards.

She was so angry when she got home and made me go over her knee for the hardest spanking I ever got in my life. Our relationship took a sharp turn after that, I have never loved her more, and I don’t use the credit cards for anything.

Stephen from Buckhead, Georgia

Hanky Panky . . . Nothing Like a Good Spanky

Dear Aunt Kay,

I must thank you again. If I had not found your page, then we would be further into our "rut". The idea of explaining to Linnea what I wanted and deserved, was scary. Both of us came from families where we did not discuss much of anything let alone...spanking desires. In addition to getting spanked and whipped with the willow branch, Linnea has used the crop and an old thick belt (from an Amish saddle maker in Ohio, my native State).

I used to think I was tough-but after about 4 or 5 spanks or whips I am yelling and feeling the pain, then the remaining spanks leave me feeling like I do not want more-just wanting the punishment to be over. Funny but sooner or later I -Do- want more! Linnea says that she is going to figure a way to let me have some discipline out in the garage while the kids are at home. I think soon I will be soundproofing this, and I am sure that she plans on increasing the pay-load(pain load) of the sessions...any milder sessions we have had have proven to wear off-in an attitude way-soon afterwards, except for the couple of slightly more severe sessions.

Linnea is as shy and quiet as can be but has taken a liking to the role of Fem-Dom, this in turn has transposed over into our sex play, she becoming quite sexy and not at all bashful or prudent in exploring ways to..do many of the things that before your page and DWC Club were not possible.

Before, I was planning to possibly go through with my wayward intention of playing around (finding someone who would spank me) . I never had before but I figured...what the heck? But, having my own matriarchal wonder who is not afraid to put me over her knee leaves me feeling loved and willing to be devoted to my sexy dominant lady. Do all men really want this? If they don't I think they are missing the whole point of marriage and the true role of women.

We both will want to post to the Sanctuary-soon.

Hank (Linneas devoted husband from central Texas)

Jerry and Barbara's Renewed Commitment

Dear Kay,

This is from Jerry, Barbara's husband. Just a little note to say how much Barbara and I appreciate your website and say thanks. Barbara and are not just your average young couple, we have been happily married for almost thirty-four years. I am in my mid-Fifties and yesterday, February 14,1998, I officially joined the ranks of husbands who get spankings from their wives.

Now whoever said you can't teach an old dog new tricks, I guess they just didn't know Barbara and me. Well, to be perfectly honest with you, I am no stranger to the leather strap. It has been and was used on me early on in our marriage by my wonderful wife, however it was done more in the play-acting realm rather than in the serious discipline mode. About mid- January I was surfing the web looking through all the spanking junk that's out there, and most of it is junk, when I came across your web page and I thought to myself, " Hey this is real, but by-gosh it makes sense." I said to Barbara, "Honey you have got to read this." Barbara read it and we discussed it. I was excited as all get out, almost like some little kid. Barbara made me read it over again three times. "This is serious stuff," said Barbara,. "If we start this, then we both have to be serious and committed, we can't just begin this today and then say tomorrow, ' oh, gee I changed my mind.' " “You think this over real good,” she told me “and if by the end of the week you still want to do it then we will begin.”

During that week, I thought about it a lot, and I took stock of myself. I looked at all the projects I have started around here and some of them still left half done, and all my bad habits, spending money wastefully, and smoking cigarettes. In addition, being lazy and whining all the time. Barbara gets up every morning to make my lunch and get me off to work while I lay in bed till the last minute and this has gone on since May, 1964 when we got married. Yes, I was ready to make a commitment and was long overdue for some discipline. We sat down together and discussed it one more time and made our commitment to one another. I began by working really hard at changing my habits and paying more attention to Barbara's needs and some less to mine. Barbara gave me tasks. One, I had to make and design an assortment of spanking implements and tools for her to use on me. Two, I had to help her to paint and finish decorating our bedroom, something I had been putting off doing for too long.

The next week I put in for a couple day’s vacation to work on our bedroom. Meanwhile, I began working on Barbara's spanking implements. First, I cut a nice thick cowhide strap about two and a half inches wide and twenty-one inches long complete with wood handle and split the leather at the end like a tawse. Next, I took a one-inch thick hard-wood board and cut a reasonable facsimile of an early century hairbrush. Then, I took an inch- wide hard wood slat and made another paddle that resembles a standard ruler. Next, I began combing the craft stores looking for rattan or something close to it. I found some round reed basket weave and managed to fashion her a couple of nice slender canes. I also made her a paddle, similar to a fraternity paddle. All the tools were now complete. The bedroom is also finished and Barbara decided that I would get my first real spanking from her (as she put it) on Valentine's Day. Now some folks might not understand the rationale behind this, but let's face it, spanking, despite the trauma and the pain is indeed an act of love and therefore as Barbara says what better day to establish who's the boss around here than on Saint Valentine's Day.

All week long, I had waited anxiously and nervously for this day to arrive. I was really curious as to what a real spanking would feel like. I had never had a real spanking in my life. Even as a kid my mother never really spanked me hard. She always threatened but never followed through. Unlike my mother, Barbara is a doer not a talker, and I was soon to find out first hand in a very personal way just what the Disciplinary Wives Club really stands for. About one o'clock in the afternoon, Barbara told me to take my bath and meet her in the bedroom for, as she put it, it was time. Later, after the spanking, Barbara said, You should have seen the look on my face.” She said it was all she could do not to laugh, but she said she couldn't because this had to be serious business. I guess I didn't think she would really do it, but I was wrong.

Barbara and I are not youngsters, so we had a little difficulty taking me over her knee, so we opted for me to lay over the foot of the bed with a couple of pillows under my me. Barbara sat in a chair and placed her hand on my back and whack. My god, I had no idea that hairbrush would hurt like that. Four times she whacked my bottom and then she paused. It hurt and stung like heck and then it burned. I thought, well four at a time like this I can take it, and then whack, only this time it didn't stop at four, so hard and fast I lost count. Another pause and then she let me have it again. I started to get tears in my eyes. Next, she used the ruler on me, and she really tanned me good. Then she used the switch and it stung but nothing like the ruler and paddle, they didn't just sting they hurt. After my bottom was quite red and very sore and much loud promise and apology on my end, she let me up for a break. She made me take my chair and I had to sit in the corner for ten minutes while she took a break. She sat right there and watched me; I wasn't allowed to rub my bottom nor look back or speak. I had to sit there politely with my hands folded, eyes to the wall. Here I was a man fifty-six years old and I felt utterly ridiculous sitting in the corner with my behind sore and red as heck like some snot nosed twelve-year-old. God, I felt stupid, but dang gone, I have to admit Barbara was good. I don't think a professional disciplinarian could have done it or planned it out that well. Ten minutes was up and Barbara rapped on the bell, you know it's one of those little bells like you see on counters. Ding. I got up and walked over to the bed. Barbara had the strap, she gestured and I positioned over the foot of our bed. "Twenty", she announced and I winced, my behind was so sore. Whack. I never felt anything that could sting and hurt at the same time like that terrible strap, When I made these tools, I think I went a little bit overboard.

Later that night, we had a candlelight dinner. Barbara heated up the dinner she had prepared for us the night before and topped it off with cheesecake that I had made for us. We exchanged gifts and made love afterwards.

It is Sunday morning now, and my behind is still warm and probably pink, but I feel like a million dollars and I am really happy. A bit more docile today I think but still pretty much outgoing, and I have a lot better attitude for sure.

Thank you again.

Jerry

Additional note from Barbara:

Dear Aunt Kay,

You have my permission - and Jerry agrees, to use our story in your Real People section.

A little more background:

As Jerry said, we have been married almost 34 years (our anniversary is May 16). We tried this activity a number of years ago, but didn't keep it up. When Jerry found your site, he told me to read it. I did and then told him to read it again as I wanted to make sure he really understood exactly what it was.

When we were both sure we understood what The Disciplinary Wives Club was all about, we sat down and really talked. After 33 years of marriage, you learn how to talk to each other. Our marriage has always been a good one. We have had our problems, of course, and our good times and bad times. We have hit dry periods and worked through them as well. Jerry told me when we married that we may not ever be rich, but he would always make me happy - this he has done. Our life has always had a lot of fun in it.

I had worked at a grade school while our kids were growing up, which was the best of all things, as my work hours and vacations were the same as our kids. Jerry and I were both active in Scouting with our kids. He was a great support to me while I was getting my Bachelor's degree and I think he was even prouder than I was on my graduation. I then worked for 6 years at a college library. A year ago, we decided that since our kids were grown and we could work it out budget-wise, I could "retire" from work. I am now trying to get a home-based career off the ground.

Anyway, we recently also hit another dry spell. I think we were each thinking it was because we were getting older - although I don't feel that either of us is really old.

Since we decided to go ahead, it has been great. Jerry has always been attentive to me in many small ways, and I to him. But, since we decided to try this it has been even better. I am finally getting some of the projects finished that we started a year ago. We both seem to have more energy and are more relaxed than we have been for a long time. The funny thing is that even Jerry's co-workers have noticed how much more relaxed and happy he seems and have commented on it. It's our little secret, of course.

As Jerry said, one of the tasks he had was to get my "tools" made... He did a great job and I am very proud of him.

Thanks, again, for such an informative and interesting site. Be assured that we will visit it often and keep you informed on our progress.

Barbara

Making Your Mark

Dear Kay,

I am an attractive, masculine, well-educated male in my late forties. I am married to a very attractive and mature woman who is a few years older than myself. My wife believes very deeply in the value and need of corporal punishment within our marriage and, as such, I have consistently experience spankings from her. Although I most always find these spankings to be very difficult and very painful to receive, I am also deeply grateful for them. I have no doubt that these spankings have made me a better person. They have helped me to grow and to become much more aware of my own faults and shortcomings, of which I have many.

Like yourself, my wife believes in bare bottomed spankings and everything that I am wearing comes off prior to punishment. I am then placed over her lap and a thick wooden hair brush is used. These spankings hurt a great deal. This is the hardest part for me, the amount of pain involved. My wife believes in strict, prolonged and extremely painful spankings. I have cried more than once during discipline, something which I do not easily do. Finally, I have often wished there was some other easier way for me to be made aware of my faults and to grow as a person. But, when I am totally honest with myself, I know that there is no "easier way" and that spankings are a necessary and essential part of our marriage.

Thanks again for your wonderful web site. It helps to know that other males are also experiencing punishment within their marriages. Please feel free to publish this if you like.

Yours,

Mark

New Years Day (Starting the year off right!)

Before last night, I had disciplined my husband on a number of occasions, but always at his request, using the instruments he suggested (my hand, a gym slipper and a table tennis bat). I think that neither of us found these sessions satisfactory. I always felt that he retained control, and that I could not let myself go for fear of hurting him too much or even injuring him.

My husband went into work one day during the holidays and asked me to collect him by car. I found him in his office, 'playing' on the internet. He told me that I would need to wait whilst he went off on an errand, and that he had found some information which would interest me. He left me reading the web pages of the Disciplinary Wives Club! I was amazed to discover that so many wives felt like me, and found the advice given excellent, particularly with respect to maintaining control and erring towards severity. The page encourages readers to e-mail Kay personally. I have done so, and her support has given me the courage to act, as described below.

After our visitors left on New Years Morning, my husband and I had the house to ourselves. All evening, I had been thinking about what I was going to do, planning, and hoping I would find the courage to carry it through. My husband, typically, was lounging about in the kitchen rather than helping to clear up. Concealing my nervousness, I instructed him firmly to come into the sitting room, and to fetch two hard-backed dining room chairs. He looked surprised but guessed what was happening. To my relief, he complied. I felt that once he had accepted my first order, I had begun to establish control.

I sat down, and, when he began to sit next to me, ordered him to remain standing. I then told him that I was not satisfied with his conduct, particularly his lack of support when we entertained visitors, and that I had decided to punish him severely. Whilst being punished, he was not to speak unless spoken to, addressing me as 'Miss', and was to obey all instructions instantly. I then pulled out the punishment instrument, a large beach paddle made of plywood, about a quarter of an inch thick and 18 inches long, considerably heavier than the table tennis paddle which he had previously asked me to use. My husband began to look distinctly nervous at this point, realizing, at last, what he had let himself in for when he showed me the Disciplinary Wives Club site!

I ordered my husband to strip down to his underpants. I could see that he was still enjoying the situation and wondered how long his pleasure would continue. I made him place his hands in front of him and tied his wrists together with some old tights which I had brought down for this purpose. Hubbie is considerably stronger than me, and I needed complete control.

I placed the two chairs together, side by side, sat down on the right-hand chair and instructed my husband to bend over my knee. Because his hands were tied, he did this with a little difficulty, resting his torso on the second chair.

Even the early strokes produced gasps and wriggling. I gradually, increased the length of my swing until my husband jerked about so vigorously that I had to press down firmly in order to keep him in position. At this point, my feelings of exhilaration overcame. My husband, forgetting the instruction not to speak, complained bitterly. Of course, I lost no time in pointing out his disobedience and subjected him additional hard strokes which I dished out slowly. My naughty boy took this discipline remarkably well, although he continued to moan and wriggle.

My husband's bottom and upper thighs had been turned bright red, but, to my surprise, I could see no bruises. He accepted his punishment in good spirits, and I informed him that he was forgiven. I am thinking of buying a cane.

Regina

Seat Up, Pants Down

"Trousers and pants down" my wife ordered briskly in her best schoolmistress tone. As she was in fact a gym mistress at a nearby girl's college perhaps it wasn't much of pretence. As I obey her command she flexed the crook handled rattan cane she had earlier had me fetch from her well-stocked punishment drawer.

"Bend over the stool. That's it. Legs straight now, grip the stool leg tightly. Eight strokes of the cane. Please count each one aloud and say thank you ma'am after each stroke. Ready." I waited. Nothing. As I relaxed my bottom muscles again she brought the cane down with all her considerable force and skill. Swish thwack.

"Oh, aagh" I yelped and remembered just in time to count " one, thank you ma'am." Swish thwack. "Two, thank you ma'am." Two raising red wheals had been placed across my bottom, so straight they might have been drawn by pencil. " Six more to come" my wife announced "and all will be just as hard" Tears welled up in my eyes. Swish thwack. " Aagh, three, th-thank you ma'am." Swish thwack. "Please ma'am…not so hard please" I pleaded. I composed myself. "Four thank you ma'am." Swish thwack. I yelped loudly and jumped up clutching my scalded rear, hopping from one foot to the other.

"Get back across that stool this instant," my wife Kay demanded her eyes ablaze. "Really Walter what has got into you? Try and take your caning like a man. I've thrashed schoolgirls harder and they have made less fuss than you." I bend submissively over the stool again. My scarred bottom awaited further punishment. " You forgot to count, Walter, so its still four plus a penalty stroke for your outrageous behaviour that's five more to come." "Yes ma'am" I meekly reply. Swish thwack. "Five. Thank you ma'am." Swish thwack. I howled and the first tears came rolling down my cheeks. "Six. Thank you ma'am." Swish thwack. The tears flooded out now and I had to try really hard to say through them "Seven. Th...Thank you ma'am." Swish thwack. I was blubbering hysterically now and could barely croak "Eight thank you ma'am." Swish thwack. "Nine oh please thank you ma'am." "Get up and stand in that corner hands on head," she commanded and still crying freely I rushed to comply. As I stood displaying my well whipped bottom and trying to control my tears, I heard the punishment drawer open and the cane replaced on its hook. I trembled visibly as I heard Kay withdraw something else from the drawer.

"Turn around," Kay ordered. She was holding the heavy tawse in her hand. "You've earned a good old Scottish belting before bedtime. When I return, I want to see your backside back over that stool as soon as I enter the room. Now face the wall again please. Will you never learn that in the bathroom every time I find the toilet seat up, I will cane you? It's a simple rule: seat up, pants down."

Now It's 24/7

Dear Aunt Kay,

I can't tell you how much happier I am since Donna insisted on living the DWC lifestyle on a 24/7 basis. Before she only spanked me on occasion, but it was not regular, and I knew I could get out of a spanking if I really tried. In other words it was a selfish game on my part. Well, it is no longer a game, and I am so much a better person for it. I don't drink nearly as much as I once did. I don't backtalk her or dare disobey her. 

Even though I work 40 hours a week and Donna doesn't work, I am expected to help with the housework. I do all the ironing every week and any other chore that she tells me to do. I don't cuss at all anymore, especially within earshot of her. But most of all I know my place in the relationship and understand Donna's innate superiority as the woman. I also know how much more in love I am with her - a deeper, fuller love.

As far as my spankings are concerned, they have all been virtually the same, and when I think about it - that really is one of the most special parts of our relationship. There are no "play" spankings. All spankings result from one of the following transgressions on my part: 1) disobedience, 2) showing disrespect, 3) misbehavior on my part, or 4) cussing of any kind.

For all spankings, I must remove all of my clothing as she feels it helps enhance her power over me and puts me in a more contrite mood. She likes the idea of the woman being fully clothed while having a contrite, naked man standing in front of her. All my spankings are OTK because again, that involves complete subjugation of me and what is left of my male ego at that moment. For all my spankings, Donna uses a wooden hairbrush, which she keeps out in the open as a constant reminder.

Before every spanking I must also admit to my wrongdoing, and do so in a very explicit manner, or I know that the spanking will be harder and longer. In addition, she scolds me unmercifully during each spanking. Lastly, she only spanks me when she feels that I have committed a serious enough offense, so needless to say, every single one of my spankings end with me crying. And I usually have a black and blue rear end for at least a couple of days.

Bill

Conduct Reviews

Dear Aunt Kay,

I thought you might want to hear of my complete satisfaction with the two discipline instruments I purchased several weeks ago. I must add that my husband is the least gratified with respect to the purchase. His level of obedience has risen immensely since I introduced both the Dominator and Hollerin Hollow when delivering discipline.

I have always been a firm believer in that the hairbrush is the maternal instrument for punishment and started using mine on my husband for that purpose early on in our marriage. I found however that something more was needed to deal with his recurring recalcitrant behavior. I decided on scheduling Friday night conduct reviews and brought the two new implements into practice.

The results have been astounding. Arthur's dread of these whipping devices is such that he is becoming fully amenable to my command. I keep both, hanging, with loops attached, in full view on the back of our bedroom door. Today being Friday, he is going to experience their usage for I've just learned of an omission of lies that he will answer for this evening.

Thanks again,

Sandra

My System

My name is Sophia. My husband is Tony. We have been in the lifestyle for 3 yrs since our younger daughter left home. My purpose in writing is to let you know of the system I use which might not be new or unique (what is) but I have never seen anything similar mentioned and it works for us.

I go out to work while Tony works from home, apart from site visits and so he has become very much a 'house husband' doing most of the daily chores. In essence the system allows him to own up to things and so save himself a more unpleasant trip otk. Here is how it works.

When we started on this road, I felt part of the problem was that he simply didn't recognize that a lot of what he did was irritating if not downright childish. I thought that getting him to acknowledge that he had misbehaved would be a major step towards improving him.

We agreed on a system which 'rewarded' him for owning up before his 'crime' was discovered. This is it. The clothes brush I use to punish him hangs on the coat stand in our hall. If he wants to own up to anything, he places the brush on an adjacent table where I will see it when I get home. He then goes upstairs to my workroom and undresses down to his vest and underpants (punishment uniform) and waits for me to get home.

I always get home within a 15 min span so he never has to wait too long. I pick up the brush and climb the stairs. On days when I am not at work he simply has to confess to what has happened before I find out. He is then sent upstairs to get ready and a few minutes later I will collect the brush from the hook before going up to deal with the matter.

Initially I gave him a 'discounted' spanking but as we moved on I introduced 'extras' instead. He knows that if he fails to own up prior to my confronting him the clothesbrush spanks for a lot longer than it would otherwise.

In case you are wondering, there is no question of his controlling events or anything like that. Sometimes when he confesses it is for something so minor I merely give him a couple of swats over his underpants with him standing upright. I never let him off completely though. At other times when he sees me turning to sit in my 'special' chair, he knows that he will have the opportunity to study the weave in the carpet for a few minutes. Of course, his underpants are superfluous on those occasions.

Advantages of the system –

1. I think that the very act of having to remove the brush from its proper place and put it on the table for me, together with the awareness that it has to be done before I arrive home causes him to reflect daily on his conduct and that it what I want to achieve.

2. The period of waiting allows him to reflect on the fact that he has not only failed to live up to my standards but has also himself made the decision to bring that fact to my attention so he definitely only has himself to blame for the predicament he is in. It also heightens the suspense of waiting to find out how sore his bottom is going to be.

3. It quite often brings to my attention misdeeds which otherwise would probably go undetected thus minimizing the chance of eluding punishment for any particular transgression.

That's it then, Kay. If you think there is any merit in the above please feel free to use it if appropriate. Thanks for everything and keep up the excellent work. Your website was very instrumental in us choosing this route.

Yours,

Sophia

Barbie's Way I and II

Barbara and I had rented an apartment and were decorating it for use after our approaching wedding. As the date approached, we had had intense discussions (Barbie called them arguments) about arrangements and related issues, i.e, where we would live - I wanted to live a fair distance from either set of parent - She wanted to rent an apartment her parents owned which was close to her parents residence. She won. I wanted a fairly informal wedding - She wanted long dresses and Tuxes. She won. In decor, I preferred comfortable overstuffed furniture - She wanted French Provincial. She won.) I could go on for some time with this but suffice to say that in our discussions, she nearly always won. When she did not, it was, in retrospect, an unimportant item.

This particular evening, we had been repainting the kitchen to suit Barbara. When we finished, she said, "Sit down Bob, we have to talk." I sat, not knowing what to expect, but from the no-nonsense tone of her voice, I knew it was something serious. "Our wedding is only a little while off, now, but it is not too late to call it off," she started. "What do you mean 'call it off?," I blurted, "I want to spend the rest of my life with you." She smiled and said, "I know you do, poor dear, and I love you too. I love your tenderness, your consideration, and your willingness to give me my way. However, marriage is forever, and I am not sure I can accept a life of arguments. That is all I have heard in my family, and I don't want that for me." I started to speak, but she said "Hush, now, I know you are going to say it doesn't have to be that way, and IT DOESN'T. But the only way that will work is if one of us is recognized as the head of the house. I know traditionally that would be you. I cannot accept that. I happen to believe quite sincerely that it is natural for the woman to lead. I was going to broach this after the wedding, but I think it is fairer to clear the air now before anyone is hurt. I must be the undisputed head of the house. What I say is law, and you had better accept that. That will start in the Bedroom, where I will dictate how often and, just as important, how we have sex. It will extend from there to all areas of our relationship. I will set the household chores that I expect you to do. I will be in total charge of our social calendar. You will give your paycheck to me and accept whatever allowance I feel is required. There will never be any discussion of what you wear; I will lay your clothes out and you will put them on. You will learn that profanity is not permitted in my home. Usually I shall drive and you will sit in the passenger seat. When I go shopping, you WILL accompany me without complaint. You will not argue with me about anything. Is all that clear?" 

I was astounded. I sat there mute for a couple of minutes. Finally I said, "You are serious, aren't you?" "I have never been more serious about anything in my life," she answered, "And if you cannot accept it in total, Bob, I am afraid, much as I love you and you love me, that I will have to cancel the wedding. Again, Is that clear?" 

I stammered, "Can I think about it?" Again she smiled at me and said, "I expect you to. I am going to the bedroom while you think it over. As a symbol of your acceptance of my terms, I want you to come to me there, and ask me to give you a spanking. If you cannot do this, I doubt if you can permanently accept your life as my inferior. You have fifteen minutes, after which, I shall leave, and you and I are a thing of the past. Is that clear?" I tried to start a discussion, and was told, "I only want to hear, 'yes ma'am' from you," Her stare was determined and a little cold. "Yes ma'am," I said with my eyes lowered. She took her purse, walked back to the bedroom, and I just sat there, stunned. I could not envision life without Barbie.

I won't go into detail on what I thought during those few minutes I had been given. With a couple of minutes to spare, I opened the door of the bedroom. She had a very sweet smile on her face. "That's my good little boy, I really did not doubt that you would surrender. The next ten or so minutes are going to be very painful for you, physically, but when it is all over, you will be much happier. I am naturally the stronger of the two of us. Let's face it, Bob, John Wayne you're not. Inside you have already accepted your place. We just have to formalize it!" She reached for her purse and took out a hairbrush, smiling at the look on my face. "You didn't expect me to use my hand, did you? I brought this along specifically for this moment. Now get over here and let's get this bit of unpleasantness over with. But from here on, you are on your own. I want you to fold my skirt back and get across my lap without being told" I stepped to her right and folded her skirt back, revealing the legs I loved so much. She unbuckled my belt and lowered my pants to the floor. Then, with a wicked smile, she lowered my skivvies to the same point and said, "Now we are ready, you know what you must do." But I could not bring myself to lower my body. My mouth was dry. I just stared at the tops of her stockings. Again there was that little smile on her face, and she said to me, "Come, come, dear. You know you really want to get across my lap. You want to surrender. You have accepted your new life as my husband and my inferior. You just have to take the first of what will, I am sure, be many, many spankings for displeasing me in little ways. I hope you understand that. Also, I will use spankings and other punishments to enforce my will whenever I please. You do understand?"

I couldn't think of anything to say but "Yes ma'am." That is what she wanted to hear, "Then be a good boy and get across mommy's lap. I'll bet you like to hear that, don't you? No more trying to be a blustering he-man, just mommy's little boy. Come on, sweetie, get in position."

I think I gave a little sob as I lowered myself across her knees and waited the first swat. It was not long in coming. She brought the hairbrush down with all her force, and I yelped. She gave me a couple more and then stopped. "Dear, this is going to take quite a while. You will be crying like a baby before I let you up, but try to control the yelping. We don't need the neighbors to know I am spanking you. You are not a man, but try to act like one for a few minutes." Then she resumed the spanking. I started to count to myself, but soon lost count in the pain I was experiencing. It went on and on covering my backside and the backs of my thighs. She would pause periodically to verbally reinforce what our married life would be, then simply continued to rain the spanks of my backside which after five minutes was beyond being described as in pain. It was something beyond that. I was blubbering, crying incoherently, but I had quit kicking my legs, and quit saying, "please stop." I just lay across her lap knowing that Barbara was now in complete charge. I would never be able to meet her gaze or argue with her again. Finally she stopped, and told me to get up. "I know it must hurt more than anything you have ever experienced." She continued, "But you will be much happier for the remainder of you life. You have done something more men should do - accept their inferior position to their wives. I'm going to the kitchen for a cup of coffee. After you have composed yourself a little, you may join me," and she very coolly straightened her skirt and left the room.

I lay on the bed and cried for probably fifteen minutes; it hurt so bad. After a little while longer, I went to the bathroom to wash my face. Then I entered the kitchen with my eyes lowered, I could not look her in the eye. "Welcome to the rest of your life, honey," she said. "Just keep in mind that Barbara does not want to argue. She will set the rules in our home, and you will obey them - INSTANTLY. If you do, you will reduce the number of punishments Barbie will have to give you." There was really only one answer, "Yes ma'am." For better than twenty years I have used that phrase daily.....Twenty happy years.

Bob

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BARBIE'S WAY II

An Addendum from Bob's Wife

Bob and I owe thanks to one of my sorority sisters. She came from a home where Mother was boss, the disciplinarian and final authority. Mom's discipline was applied even handed to her children AND HER HUSBAND. She shared this with some of us who were closest to her. It immediately fascinated me as I had come from a home of constant bickering, and shouted arguments. In the course of "pillow conversations" with her, I found that her home was quiet, her father, considerate, and her mother, happy. I decided then, that this was what I wanted. Bob is accurate to an almost embarrassing degree in describing the evening he accepted his place. I was certain that if I could get him to submit to a spanking that had the stated purpose of establishing me as the authority in our marriage, and I made that spanking one that reduced him to a child-like state, he would never, ever again be in a psychological position to challenge me. For us, at least, it worked.

One incident about five years ago illustrates this. We were in after dinner conversation with our two daughters, ages 15 and 13, when the fifteen year old said that our home was so happy when many of their friends said that there was constant fighting in theirs. "How have you done it?" she asked. Bob and I had discussed if and when we should share our arrangement with the girls, and had pretty much decided to "play it by ear" This seemed to me the proper time. "Shall I tell them, or you?" I asked. Bob blushed a little and said that I should. I did not go into explicit details, but that evening the girls found that Dad's quiet acceptance of my wishes was not accidental, that I frequently found it necessary to put him over my knees. I am not sure the older one was totally surprised, but she said nothing to indicate she suspected, unless the original question was it.

Since that evening, life has been even less complicated. There is now no reason to wait until both girls are out to correct Bob. If I am a little displeased, we simply excuse ourselves and go to our room where I give Bob what he has coming. The girls can hear the spanking, but they are very good about making no comment when we return. I would not be surprised if I am raising two future DWs. They will never witness a spanking, but they have no doubt that Dad gets them and they can see the beneficial results in our home.

Truck Drivin' OTK

Hi,

You may remember me telling you about my husband who drives a truck and had become increasingly selfish, irresponsible and was taking advantage of me. When I found your site it was like a god send. I e-mailed you last Saturday to inform you I had made a decision.

I had informed him, but he thought it was a turn on and maybe foreplay to sex. Well, let me tell you he found it less than fun when I was through with him that night. He begged me to stop made promises and even cried about how much it hurt. I informed him that was the point. He was on his best behavior for the rest of the week because I informed him that from now on, when his attitude retuned to what it had been or when he was selfish or irresponsible, he would find himself over my knee looking at the floor and getting his ass blistered again and next time I would not be using my hand.

Well, I guess he thought I was kidding because last night I returned from work and the children were alone because he decided he had more important things to do than to wait around for me to get back. He lived to regret his irresponsible decision. When the kids were asleep and he returned from where he had gone, I informed him I was waiting for him in our bedroom. He was shocked when he saw me sitting there with the paddle in my hand he quickly removed his pants, underwear and was in position before I even told him to. He then received the worst spanking he had in his whole life (so he says). Oh well! That's how it's going to be for us from now on and we both feel better. He actually told me he felt better after.

Shelly

Roving Eye

Dear Aunt Kay:

Could I get your advice about your most advanced disciplinary technique? 

I have learned that my husband has a roving eye. I consider this a total lack of respect! It is my intention to deliver a long, hard, and painful punishment. I intend to spank/paddle/strap him until he is welted, bruised, crying like a baby, and begging for mercy. I want to spank for as long as possible without drawing blood. I have no intention of being lenient with him. 200 sounds like a nice round number.

Could I get your advice regarding the number of swats with the different implements and some tips on body positioning (mine and his) for maximum effect? How often should I give him a break? Any other advice would be appreciated.

Thanks, Mona

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Dear Kay:

I wrote a few days back about my husband. I told you that I had noticed him admiring and flirting with some other women recently. I told him that we would be dealing with it after I had time to think about his punishment.

After consulting your new webpage about discipline methods, I took care of it this evening. I sent Bill into the bedroom, made him strip, and lay on the bed bottom up. I have one of those heavy hairbrushes that you recommend. I started spanking in sets of 4 and then 8 as you advise.

I kept this up until he was warmed up. This seemed quite effective. I was leaving quite an impression on my naughty husband's tender bottom.

Then, I started in with the non-stop paddling. I brought that brush down on him as hard as I could. Again and again and again, it was the sound of the hairbrush against bare flesh.

I had been moving the brush around all over his ass. But then, I started to deliver consecutive spanks to his left cheek. I laughed a bit when he started squirming around. He was trying to get me interested in his other side and get some relief off that left cheek. Those cheeks were real red and getting just a bit lumpy. He was moaning, groaning, and getting a little teary eyed.

I stopped briefly and gave him a talking to. I told him that I would decide where he was to be spanked. He started telling me that he would never do it again and how sorry he was, etc....

I told him that he was not as sorry as he was going to be! I really did not feel bad. I do anything and everything to turn him on. I told him how hurt and humiliated I felt.

I told him that other men may get away with this, but that he gets punished and he gets punished HARD!

I teased him a little about the condition his rear end was in, told him that he would take whatever I decided, and then told him that I wasn't even warmed up! The look on his face was priceless!

I added something about him enjoying his break and started in again. Right cheek, left cheek, upper thighs, lower cheeks, upper cheeks, I really unloaded. He had totally lost it. We were well into 3 figures and his bottom showed it. After a couple of swats to that sore left side, he reached his hand back for protection. I swatted his hand with the brush.

I demanded to know if he was just trying to make me angry. He was like, "Oh no honey. It's just that it hurts!" "It's supposed to hurt! You're being punished", I told him.

He told me that he could not take it anymore. I told him that he had just about finished the punishment for the flirting. However, he would get a couple dozen after that for resisting his punishment. I carried on despite all of his crying. After he had recovered, we talked. I told him it was for his own good and an expression of my love. I think he will be remembering for at least a week. I think I have dealt with this little problem. What do you think? 

Mona

PS (day after) A point of interest: What a difference last night made. Today it's yes honey, no honey, yes ma’am, no ma’am. I wonder why? :)

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Dear Aunt Kay,

My wife, Mona, sent you an e-mail regarding a spanking I had received earlier in the week. I had been spanked for being a flirt with other women.

She had me write my feelings about this on paper. Now, she's having me send them to you.

First, allow me to say that the paddling was the most painful experience of my life! I couldn't believe it. I was a grown man crying like a child. I didn't think she was ever going to let up. She said the count was an even 200. Do you suggest that women spank that hard?

From this, I learned something important: I am loved. As I was being paddled, I realized how much she must have loved me. I mean I had done something that Mona felt needed correction, and she was dealing with it. Most men tend to treat their wives terribly. My wife is in a position where she simply will not tolerate it.

Afterwards, Mona asked me if I would ever want a more traditional marriage. I said no and I meant that. I am 26 and Mona is 24. I must admit that it is something special to know that I am under the rule of a disciplinary wife from now on who can rule me and discipline me in any way she chooses.

I asked Mona if any future spankings would be as hard. She said many would not be but that many would be harder. It just depends on my behavior and what kind of mood she's in. I promised that I would never do anything inconsiderate or defiant. I would obey her rules and orders to the letter. She was skeptical. She said that perfection was the only standard she would accept.

Mona's attitude during the paddling suprised me. It was not an attitude of a person carrying out their duty with regret. Emotionally, she was very tough. For example, she made a remark about loving those bruises and blisters on my cute little butt. She was asking “how does it feel” and “poor baby does it hurt?” I realized that she was the injured party. It was fine that she gained such pleasure from seeing me that way.

You really seemed to have released something in my wife! If you respond, PLEASE! Tell my wife that I wrote a good letter and seemed to be getting the hang of it.

Best Regards,

Bill

The Shadow Deadline

Dear Aunt Kay,

My wife Jill (see "coverts make the best" real people letter 6/17/99) asked that I write this real people letter as an additional part of my protracted punishment for missing an important deadline. In my occupation I take on a number of long-term creative projects. I had been working on a particular project for several months and missed the initial deadline back in the spring. By mid-summer I still hadn't quite finished up the project and was having trouble completing it. Jill and I agreed that I needed some additional incentive for finishing.

We agreed that she would write a "shadow deadline" down on a sheet of paper (that I would not see) and seal it in an envelope. If I were to make this unknown deadline I would be rewarded but if I missed the deadline, I would receive a "punishment spanking" and extra chores as my wife's slave for a period of time of her choice. She indicated that this period of time would be prorated and the more I missed my deadline by the longer I would be subjected to the punishment of extra chores and more demanding discipline and rules to obey.

This week I finally finished the project and last night Jill sent me to the basement with all our spanking implements. I knew this wasn't a good sign and that I had probably missed my deadline. After all the implements were neatly arranged on the fireplace mantle she ordered me to stand in the corner with my shorts down and my shirt lifted. She then lectured to me saying "Since you haven't acted responsibly like an adult you are going to lose your privileges as an adult for a while. You have acted irresponsibly like a naughty boy and thus you will be treated like one, young man. And since you haven't shown self-discipline tonight I will show you the alternative--which is real discipline and that means you'll be getting a real spanking and that means it will not stop when you want it to stop or anywhere near when you want it to stop, or for that matter you will not know when it starts either. You made everyone else wait 5 months for the project. The good news for you is you don't have to wait 5 months...but I will make you wait to concentrate on why you're going to be punished and to ponder the fact that you're going to get a spanking you won't forget tonight!" With those words she left me standing in the lonely corner to wait.

After a long wait in the corner with all the spanking implements lying beside me on the mantle, the cold floor laying under my feet, and thoughts of the punishment to come reminding me of my impending date with a harsh dose of discipline, the wait seemed to last over an hour. Jill says it wasn't that long, however, and I'm certainly in no mood to question her. When she did reappear, my wife had the envelope in hand and asked me to open it. Upon opening it the card read:

Your Red-Letter Deadline is.....................a deadline beyond which time lateness in finishing your project will result in a period of disciplinary actions to be carried out at the complete command of your wife, who may 1) treat you like the naughty irresponsible boy who does not keep deadlines and 2) require disciplinary slave labor. The date of your deadline is.........................

I opened the page to the date August 24th and knew I was in BIG trouble. There on the inside were the discipline time guidelines specifying that for the first 8 days late I would perform chores for my wife for 1/4 day each, for the next 15 days the rate would be 1/3 day, for the next 20 days 1/2 a day, and each day thereafter 1 FULL DAY. She asked me to do the math and write down my extra chores period. I did and had to read out loud that I would be subjected to 31 DAYS of disciplinary chores at my wife's command.

She then ordered me to lay over a padded foot stool and get ready for a real spanking. She also handcuffed my hands together in front so I couldn't reach back to protect myself. She sat in a chair next to the stool and grabbed the large black spencer paddle and began relentlessly paddling my bare bottom. She spanked me hard and fast and without any warm-ups and was relentless! I kicked and squirmed, but she placed her leg across the small of my back to hold me down and I couldn't get free. She lectured as she continued to bring the paddle down for hard smack after smack and I buried my head into my tied hands and was near tears. She surprised me with her strength and her resolve to really spank me good. 

After well over 100 hard smacks, she gave me a break to read the long list of chores I would be performing for her for the next 31 days. After I read the chores, I had to bring her the Hollerin Hollow Cane (highly recommended! ouch!) and back over the stool I went. Each swish made me wince terribly as they struck into my already tender bottom. She caned me with a stern demeanor and harshly and after the caning she instructed me to stand in the corner and read my next list--it was a list of spanking games we would play 3 nights a week at 9:30 when I finished performing her chores. All of the games were stacked to Jill's satisfaction, and she delights at the prospect of playing spanking games at her every whim.

She then spanked me some more with a belt and asked if I was ready for dinner yet. I meekly replied yes but she said, "Too bad because I'm not. I'm ready to do some more spanking!" She still had great stamina and spanked me with a fraternity paddle, a wooden spoon, and a hairbrush--ouch!! To remind me of my punishment I was not allowed to put my shorts back on and I spent the rest of the night bare. Later in the mirror I saw that Jill had literally *blistered* my bottom and I still wince as I sit or get up from sitting.

The Shadow Deadline punishment was more than I ever imagined it would be and I still have a month of extra chores.

As intense and dreadful as the spanking itself was, I have to say that your DWC philosophy has done wonders for our already wonderful relationship! Not only will I be sure to make my next major project deadline (I sure won't want to repeat this spanking again) but it has added an exciting new element to our relationship and allowed my wife to take complete control which is satisfying to both of us. She never feels compelled to complain, since a spanking is more effective, always an option, and something that we've both agreed is necessary when she feels it is warranted.

Perhaps even more encouraging to some of your readers with "vanilla" spouses or lovers is that Jill has demonstrated the adage "converts make the best...spankers" beyond my wildest dreams.

We incorporated spanking into our relationship very slowly and I showed her the DWC page. I did not pressure her into giving me a hard spanking the first time. Our first attempt did not live up to my unrealistic expectations, and the spanking was "too light" compared to what I had hoped for but rather than be disheartened, I let her know how intensely pleased I was that she was willing to explore new things and that I'd be glad to pursue such things at her pace. This is I expect where most men miss out by not letting "her" dictate the pace. How things have changed---now Jill spanks with the demeanor, force and confidence of someone who is completely confident and absolutely in control!! And believe me she has perfected the art of discipline (perhaps even too well)!

She is completely in charge and neither of us would want it any other way. Our relationship, always wonderful, is even better with Jill absolutely in charge and a complete convert to the DWC philosophy!

Thanks Aunt Kay, your site is great!

--Dave

A Couple

Hi Aunt Kay,

I have to say that thanks to your site, my soon to be wife and I are pratcing the lifestyle. We enjoy it so much, that I decided to share with you my first DWC Lifestyle spanking.

First, a little background. About 5 months ago, my fiance and I were having a discussion that ended in slight argument. I was somewhat serious, and told her to bend over my knee for a spanking. To my surprise, she did, and I gave her one. After I was finished, I felt really guilty about what I had done. It seemed to me that since we were getting married that we needed to be 100% equal, so I asked her if she would like to spank me. She agreed and ordered me to drop my pants and bend over her knee. I complied, and she delivered.

So now let’s fast forward to the present. Ever since that afternoon when she spanked me, I felt as though I needed her to show her assertiveness whenever she deemed necessary. So, I went surfing the web in search of information on wives/girlfriends spanking their man. It was a little scary to me to just come out and ask her to spank me without a little research first. I happened across your site and read as much as I could. That night, when my fiance came home, I sat her down and we discussed the issue. I even pulled your site up on the computer so that she could see it.

The next morning, she put her foot down for the first time bright and early. I am somewhat of a grouch in the morning and can say some nasty things when it is time to wake up. I usually ignore her when she wakes me and sleep for at least another half-hour past the alarm, till she is hollering that I will be late to work. That morning, she taught me a lesson about listening the first time. When I refused to get up, she pulled the covers off of me to expose my back side. She than gave me a series of swats till I tried to get up. "Now go and take your shower and get dressed" was the next thing out of her mouth. I did as she said and headed down stairs. When I got to the bottom of the stairs, I heard this deep, demanding voice coming from the kitchen. "Come in here right now," she said. When I entered, the next thing I heard was, "Take off your pants and bend over the counter."

I just looked at her in shock and she informed me, "Do it now, or the underpants come off too." I did as told and got a good 20 across the butt with her hand. When she was done, she lectured me. "Now, you know that if you don't get up when I say, you will be punished. For every time I have to say wake up, you will get 20 in your underpants. If you answer me back, you get 30 on the bare backside". I replied with a yes ma'am, and stood up looking for my pants. "What do you think you are doing? I am not done yet!" she said. "Now, I have done some thinking. I think that for all the times you have been mean to me, you need to be punished. Starting today, I am going to punish you every morning until I feel you have learned your lesson. When I think justice was served, you will get at minimum one spanking per week as a reminder. If you are a bad boy, you will get additional spankings during the week.” 

At that time, I felt so guilty for all I have done to this poor woman who has done nothing but be there for me and support me. I agreed and she then proceeded with part two of my punishment. "Go upstairs and bring me the wide strap that you wear with your work clothes," she ordered. When I returned to the kitchen, she proceeded. "Take down your underpants and bend over my knee". SPANK, SPANK, SPANK. A good 25 or 30 she delivered to my bare back side. "Stand up and pull up your underpants. I think that this is a good start to your redemption. Just so you remember today, you will get 10 more on your bare back side with the wooden spoon". She delivered as promised, and I had a stinging experience for the rest of the day. 

Thank you for having a site dedicated to this type of spanking. In the short time that we have started to adapt the lifestyle, we have become much closer. Our communication has improved. She feels satisfied from being able to give me what I deserve, and I am satisfied cause I get what I need. We are now in to the beginning of day 4 of my daily lesson. I have acted up once, and got a nice addition to my daily spanking. I was also instructed to use my wood working skills to make her 4 different size paddles. We are both looking forward to using the first one tomorrow.

I'll let you know what kind of impression it makes on me (lol).

J and M

Retirement

Dear Aunt Kay,

I have read every word on this site. Having had what would be called a DWC marriage for more than ten years, I am pleased to see that I am handling things pretty well, although, to my hubby's chagrin, a few things are changing for the worse for him. 

However, one facet I do not feel is given sufficient discussion by the site's contributors is the matter of the husband's chores. I think this is extremely important to the woman. My husband retired a few months ago, and I decided well before the date that I would not live our final twenty or more years doing most of the housework. He now: Does all the dishes everyday, makes the bed everyday, vacuums the carpet once a week, cleans the commodes once a week, scrubs the kitchen floor biweekly, washes both cars before the weekend unless I feel the weather makes it foolish, sweeps the garage floor before the end of the first week of each month, and keeps the yard neatly trimmed. 

There are no aprons or any other attempts to humiliate him unless a good sound spanking for failure to perform a task to my satisfaction is considered humiliating. He received several of these shortly after we started this routine, but it only took a few to show him the error of his ways. 

For example, I decided to be extremely demanding at the outset so as to set a proper tone for him. He was told that the bed was to be made with NO wrinkles in the spread and that the bedspread and that it was to be EXACTLY the same distance from the floor on both sides of the bed. Needless to say, his first attempt failed. I called him to the bedroom and pointed out what I will admit was only a suggestion of a wrinkle, and the fact that I measured almost a two-inch difference in the drop of the spread and asked him if this was how he had been instructed. At first he said he thought it was OK. Then, I gave him the ruler and made him measure the drop. He was forced to admit that there was, indeed, a difference, and that he had failed to satisfy my demands. With a smile, I sat down on the bedroom chair, folded my skirt back and told him to bring me my paddle. In a few moments his pants were down and he was across my lap. A very short time later, he was sobbing and promising to do better in the future. He was promising long before I was finished spanking. I gave him one hundred swats - yes one hundred -and informed him that the next time he failed to please me, it would be worse. Then, sitting on a very tender derriere, he wrote two hundred times, "A husband's joy is to please his wife in every way." 

As I said, it took a few sessions like this one, but he now performs his chores well, and very meekly asks for my inspection and approval when he completes one. Women who do not make a routine of this nature a part of their relationship are missing something extremely convenient for them and, although they may not want to admit it, very satisfying for their husbands. 

Before his retirement, my husband knew he had better do as he was told, but now he has his list of regular duties and time limits by which I expect them done. Except when I wish to add to a chore or establish, nothing needs to be said. He gets his satisfaction pleasing me.

Carolyn

What Does DWC Stand For?

Aunt Kay has assigned me to put pen to paper articulating what the Disciplinary Wives Club promotes, and of equal importance, what it does not promote in my view.

This is a relatively easy assignment given the rich material on the web-site, but it was not assigned to me for it's ease - it was assigned to me to take a little of my spare time away, as I was cheeky to Aunt Kay in an e-mail and am now paying the price. That the price is low is a reason for me to be grateful and acknowledge Aunt Kay's generous nature.

Indeed, in a microcosm this describes what the DWC stands for - strong, capable women providing men with nurturing discipline and control, not in an abusive or ultra-severe way, but in ways that helps the man understand his place.

The DWC is all about reality, special relationships, love and trust. The sort of trust that would enable a strong man to weep in his wife's arms after a licking, and then gently being led to the corner while drying his eyes. The sort of trust that would enable a woman to administer a strong dose of woodshed medicine to a man she loves and likes. The sort of trust that would allow a man to accept scolding, groundings, time-outs and penance tasks, just because his disciplinarian has determined he needs it.

It is not about S&M, sexual deviation or "kink." Nor is it overly concerned with sex, although DWC principles are in the context of adult relationships. The DWC promotes a lifestyle where people who are committed to each other can get the help they need in dealing with behavior problems, stress or the need to change in some fundamental way, and to be secure in the knowledge that they will get that help. The help might come at the expense of a blistered seat, or through other methods. It might be severe. But it will be nurturing, empathetic discipline, delivered in a supportive manner.

It is this last point that differentiates the DWC from programs and websites that are based on a Slave/Mistress mentality, fetish-based ideas of female supremacy and pornographic expressions. Just as a mother corrects her young child, the DWC woman guides and mentors her man in loving strictness. Firm, fair, unrelenting and demanding should be words that describe the DWC woman. Repentant, tearful, humbled and calm should describe the man.

Finally, DWC also provides useful help in terms of implements, instructional videos and related material, and even a "personals" section to help like-minded people meet and grow close in a romantic, strict relationship.

Jon

Slipper or Shoe

Hi Aunt Kay.

My name is Jeanne and I just found your web site as of last night and wanted to say that it's great!

I have a boyfriend that I have been dating now for about 5 years and about two years ago I brought domestic discipline into the relationship mostly of my own choosing and very little on his end of things. While on your site I noticed that you even had a very short little word about using a slipper for spankings. 

That is my preferred item to use. Many may not know this but a good slipper or in this case an old sneaker can be a very powerful tool for disciplining, as my boyfriend will attest to.

I have a strap that so far in 2 years has only been used maybe 3 times whereas the slipper does such a great job on my boyfriend all the time.

I also find that there are many good types of shoes out there for just this. One is the Ked's sneakers and when once well-worn and aged with time, like a fine wine that just gets better with age.

In my case I have small feet, so I have bought him a pair and while at first there was a little protest to him wearing what he calls 'girls shoes', he has now gotten very use to wearing them so much so that many times he has forgotten he has them on and went out shopping and about the city.

The reason I have him wear a pair and break them in is so that he may get his spankings with his own shoe which is bigger than mine by far and therefore more of his bottom gets to feel the teaching effects it gives.

Jeanne

Educating Harry

Dear Aunt Kay,

I am writing to let you know about my latest experience.

For weeks I have been corresponding with a couple, Fred and Carrie, who are members of the DWC. After several correspondences back and forth with Carrie, I drove to meet with them at their home. We had a good discussion about DWC, especially about how best to entice my very vanilla wife to try the DWC lifestyle. They gave me several articles to read.

I had previously E-mailed my initial confession, so Carrie gave me my first adult experience of a disciplinary spanking, DWC style. The stinging of the spanking was hard to bear, but the most lasting reminders came from her paddle with holes and her cane, which I could feel most of the week. The spanking gave me some release, and was effective in motivating me change my habits of tardiness and procrastination. (Of course, I still have a long way to go.)

However, I was most impressed by the warmth of the hugs and gentle touching paired with the spanking and scolding: I felt cherished and chastised at the same time, a very non-sexual, almost childlike response. I also felt forgiven and motivated by being held accountable to a woman I respect and want to please, and more determined than ever to pursue the DWC lifestyle with my wife.

I feel that I have been introduced to some true kindred spirits. Thank you again for keeping this website going, Aunt Kay. I am pleased with the smoothness and speed with which the site now operates.

Harry

Now a Believer

Over the years I have read many stories and reports about men who found themselves in situations where they were being punished, with spanking, by several women at once. The themes vary but they are basically that the wife or girlfriend invites or permits others to spank them, and they are soundly punished in the process.

I read a lot of these stories and wanted to believe them, but so many were obviously phony that I knew they were someone's fantasy and not a true event.

I am married to a DWC woman now and we have quite a few friends who are true-hearted DWC couples and singles. I have personally been spanked by women other than my wife, with her full agreement of course. Many of those spankings were no joke and I became more respectful as a result of them.

What I want to share with the DWC readers today is an event that recently occurred in which I got a major discipline session, which I deserved, and how it all came about.

We have some good friends who live about an hour or so drive from us. We are all busy people with professional jobs and simply do not have the time to get together as much as we would like to. Whenever we do, the sense of closeness is wonderful, and we seem to never have enough time to talk about everything we want to talk about.

A few months ago, when we were at their house for a dinner, I did something pretty rude. It was not on purpose; it was more about being unthinking and inconsiderate. I won't elaborate on what it was since it is really between us, but the bottom line is it hurt the feelings of our hostess.

Needless to say, I felt terrible about it. The worst I ever feel is when I hurt my wife's feelings and this was that kind of feeling bad. Our friend said that once she had disciplined me for what happened, everything would be fine. I was more than willing to pay for my mistake and to clean the slate with her, but believe me; I was also worried about "payday."

Because everyone was so busy, several weeks passed before we could schedule a get together for all of us. I had hoped that the time between would decrease the intensity of her feeling about the event. Wishful thinking.

We arrived at their home, and everything was as warm and upbeat as usual. We went out for a fun lunch and then came back to their house and chatted for a while. Then my Auntie announced that it was time for our "conference." My wife and my Auntie's husband decided they would take a walk on the beach and rejoin us in about an hour.

As soon as we were alone, my Auntie turned her serious side on and said it was time for my discipline session. She got out her chosen implements; a hairbrush and a thick strap and lectured me on my behavior. I felt exactly like the inconsiderate young man that I had been. Her authority was unquestionable.

She then proceeded to deliver a full discipline session in the style she deemed most appropriate. I was basically spanked in several positions, which she found most convenient at the moment. I was spanked over her knee several times, laid over a chair, and also over her bent leg standing up. My Auntie is a very experienced, hard spanker and she knew exactly what she was doing. That spanking really hurt and the way she controlled me and spanked and spanked until SHE felt good and done, left me feeling that I had paid my dues. Afterwards we hugged and she totally forgave me.

When my wife and her husband came back, everyone was at ease. We resumed our visit. I was amazed at the nonchalance everyone exhibited. As I thought about it later, I felt great about the four of us mature adults, who believe in the disciplinary lifestyle and can integrate it into a bigger relationship.

On the way home from my Auntie, Dana Specht's, house, my wife, Aunt Kay, had no sympathy whatsoever for my difficulty sitting. She said that Auntie knew best and that if I complained again, she would add to it as soon as we got home. My complaining stopped immediately.

Jerry