Dear Aunt Kay,
My wife and I have been practicing this lifestyle for 6 years now. My behavior, along with wife's skills, have much improved. The DWC lifestyle, as we both have found out is serious business and not something to be entered into on a whim nor is it to be taken lightly. Yet it is lots of fun, exciting. and adds a renewed spark to a marriage.
My advice to men who are considering asking their wives to enter this lifestyle is to think it through because there is no turning back. It is a commitment -- just like marriage. If you are a guy, like me, who is a spoiled little boy living inside a man’s body and your wife is a true dominant, you will keep the commitment and gain by it. But be warned you as a man will not, and I repeat NOT always like it, and may regret it sometimes, especially when that dominant side of her comes out and is fully unleashed. She will be beautiful though; she will be everything you ever dreamed of or wanted in a woman, everything you crave. But be sure you think it over carefully because hell hath no fury like an angry woman. Make no mistake about it. If you think DWC is going to be all fun and games all the time and your wife is going along with it just meet your needs alone, then you are only fooling yourself and you are going to be in for one very rude awakening indeed. It will change your marriage and your lives forever; you will be a better man because of it.
For Charlotte and me, it was exactly what we wanted and needed. For many years in our marriage, far too many in fact, my wife has put up with that spoiled child. I have, without even realizing it, manipulated my wife in subtle little ways to get my way all throughout our marriage. I behaved just like a spoiled child. I would stomp my feet and get what I wanted when I wanted it without even considering her needs and what she may have wanted. And if I am truthful, I must admit that even getting her to go along with the DWC lifestyle was my wish and my idea.
But thank goodness for the both of us she let me make that choice back then and thank goodness she saw the potential in it. At the time I didn't realize what I was really asking for, now I am glad I did so though and I don't ever regret asking for it nor do I have any desire to go back. I feel so much better about myself now and I know I am a better person now. As for my wife, it has been the best thing she could have ever done for herself and for our marriage. Charlotte has her self-esteem back, she has become a woman liberated, she knows now more than ever and she has no doubts about herself. She is become strong and she can handle and do anything now. And she doesn't need to have a man to tell her what to do or how to live. It’s wonderful to see, its beautiful, she's beautiful, I love and respect her more now than ever in our marriage. Now when I say she doesn't need a man to tell her what to do, I don't mean she doesn't need me in her life. It's just now our love for each other is stronger and we know who we are and where we stand in our relationship. We both contribute - it's not one sided anymore.
It's not been an easy road to get here, for me sometimes; it's been very hard. Believe me it's no fun to feel strongly about something, to think you are right and then have your wife say no to you. She'll say, "No darling it's not going to be that way, it is going to be done this way and that's that. You don't have to like it but this is the way it is going to be. And when you stomp your feet about it, you won't get your way. Instead you will only get scolded for being a brat and sent to the bed room and a very sore bottom." Oh yes, my advice to men is you had better be serious when you commit to this lifestyle because your wife is going take it serious and she is never going to go back to putting up with that spoiled child again. When I act like a child she treats me like a child, when I act like a man she respects me as a man, she loves me and I love her, pretty simple really.
Yes, this DWC life is not for everybody, and it is not meant to be all fun and games nor one sided, it means a lot of work from both of you to make it work. It calls for lots of love, love being the real force behind it, it will be fun and it will be harsh, but the rewards are worth the effort. In the end you will both feel better about yourselves and you will have more self-esteem and gain a stronger and better marriage.
When we began this venture, we didn't realize it but our marriage and home were a total shambles. Everything was starting to run down something awful, weeds had grown over our lawn was horrid either one us wanted to do anything to improve it. We had so many bills a mess in every room our house was full of clutter. We went to work we came home we ate supper and we sat on our butts playing on the computer watching TV. We loved each other very much, but we were depressed and we didn't know it. We knew it wasn't right to neglect our home and each other, but we were worn out just to tired to do anything about it. Things have changed now and things are better. I am not going to lie and tell you just making this commitment has magically made everything perfect. It hasn't. There is lots to be done and every day is an ongoing process as each day we improve. I truly love my wife and she loves me. It doesn't all happen in a day everything takes time, but it's been worth it. It is too bad every home isn't this way; the world would be better off.
Carl