Dear Readers of the DWC,
My partner Deirdre and I recently visited the SF bay area for a few weeks. Since we are a DWC couple, I suggested that we write to Aunt Kay about the possibility of meeting while Deirdre and I were in town. Deirdre agreed that this would be a fun idea. But before I get to the tale of our meeting with Aunt Kay, I will provide a little history about us as a couple.
As in most (all?) DWC couples, I was the instigator of the idea of a female-led household, with spanking as a disciplinary motivation for the male. Like most of the readers here, this idea has excited me since as early as I can remember, certainly as far back as my teenage years in the 1970s. However, my first marriage was not successful in this regard. It took me a while in this marriage to realize how important a female-dominant life was to be.
Eventually I figured myself out and told my ex-wife about my desire for her to lead our relationship. (Does this sound familiar? I bet it does for many of you reading this.) She tried this style of relationship for a short while, but she was very uncomfortable with spanking me, and so, to make a long story short, she left me. This was a devastating time for me in my life, but it turned out to be all for the better in the end, years later. After my ex-wife and I split up, I dated several women, in a serial monogamous manner. In my search for a new partner, I made it clear that I was looking for a female-led relationship in which the woman would dictate what she liked, and she was free to punish the male for transgressions as she saw fit. I found that this was highly satisfactory, even desirable, to many women. Very few women that I dated were put off by this suggestion. But of course, this is only one factor in making a relationship work. Consequently, it took me several years to find the right woman with the right chemistry.
I met Deirdre at work several years ago, but she was in a relationship at the time, and so was I. After a few years, we both independently ended up leaving our partners at the time, and we then eventually got together as a couple. We have been extremely happy ever since. At 31, Deirdre is quite a bit younger than me, but she is very much in command of our relationship, and she wouldn't have it any other way. When I first explained to Deirdre that I would like a female-led relationship, she was skeptical. She understood my excitement at the idea of being spanked (power games were exciting for her), but she hadn't yet met an alpha-male who seemed to want to put his woman first and have her organize their lives in such a complete way. Despite her skepticism, she agreed to try the lifestyle for a while. Initially we thought that the dominance aspect of our relationship would be a part-time thing, but after experimenting with it for a few months, we settled into a 24/7 female-dominant relationship. Once she tried it, she was hooked. She loves having total control in the relationship.
A recent exciting development in our spanking relationship came in the past year, with the purchase of a spanking bench. Because I am much stronger than Deirdre (I am 6'3", 200 lbs; she is 5'5", 120 lbs), it was difficult to submit to Deirdre completely when she spanked hard with a hard implement. If she smacked hard enough for long enough, I would struggle and get a break. I wanted to submit to her will, but practically, it was hard to do so, because I am physically too strong, and my will was not strong enough yet to stay when I am told to. We both decided that the spankings could be more effective if she had total control over me. I suggested that securing me to a spanking bench would give her true control. She agreed. So, we purchased such a bench last summer, and it has been an excellent addition to our spanking life. Up until then, I had only fantasized about losing complete control in a spanking session. Now it was made real. When we first got the bench, Deirdre secured me to it, made sure that I couldn't get free, and then told me of her plans to give me a spanking I would remember. She first spanked me with Aunt Kay's "holy terror" wooden paddle for a minute without stopping, very hard. It's amazing how much that hurts, especially with no warm-up! I complained loudly and yelled to her to stop, but she scolded me more firmly, and laid in harder, until the time was up, then two more minutes. Then two more sets of two minutes! My bottom and thighs were red and well bruised by the end. She had me crying during each of the two-minute sessions, which was an experience that I can hardly describe. It was exhausting and exhilarating. It was everything that I had hoped for: a spanking that drained all my attention, so I could do nothing but feel it and let go. We have only had a few such sessions in the past year. They exhaust me greatly. I will do anything to avoid them at this point. Deirdre seems very pleased to have this control over me. She is a natural dominant. Furthermore, she really loves to punish me, either for transgressions, or more often now, in order to exercise her dominance in the relationship. We are a great match: I thrive on her dominance and love, and she loves it this way too.
As I mentioned at the start of this letter, Deirdre and I visited the SF bay area for a few weeks this past summer. I suggested that we contact Aunt Kay and Jerry, and Deirdre enthusiastically agreed. We were both keen to meet another DWC couple like ourselves. We are not shy people, but we don't advertise our private life to others. Because this is not a common lifestyle (yet?), we simply don't think that we know any DWC type couples. So, we thought it would be fun to meet Aunt Kay, who has been so great about helping others get started in this kind of lifestyle, with no guilt about enjoying it. I first wrote to Aunt Kay in late June, and she wrote back right away, saying yes, they would be happy to meet us when we come out to visit. Aunt Kay also asked to hear from Deirdre. Deirdre then wrote to Aunt Kay, and the two exchanged some emails. When Deirdre and I arrived in CA, we arranged a dinner date with Aunt Kay and Jerry at a nice local place. The four of us had a great time at dinner. We told them our relationship story, and they told us theirs. As others have noted, Aunt Kay and Jerry are just a normal happy couple, who happen to enjoy some female-dominant spanking. We are the same. No one would ever suspect that the four of us were chatting for much of the evening about the men getting spanked. At the end of the evening, we said good night, and tentatively planned to get together again, in another week. The following week, we met at a second fine restaurant (good choices, Aunt Kay and Jerry!), and had another relaxing dinner, talking about our lives, both the DWC aspects and the more mundane. At the end of the meal, Aunt Kay and Jerry suggested that we come back to their place, so that Aunt Kay could show Deirdre some spanking techniques (on my bottom!). I was nervous about this idea, because I find spanking to be very personal: it's between Deirdre and me. But I was also happy to do this, because Deirdre and I really liked Aunt Kay and Jerry, and this seemed like a good way for us to bond with another similar couple. So, since Deirdre wanted to do this, I nervously agreed. (I suspect that if she didn't want to go, I would have been a little disappointed. But I didn't have to deal with this kind of disappointment: Deirdre wanted to learn whatever tricks she could to keep me in line. Deirdre is a great partner!) We headed up to Kay & Jerry's place and sat down in their living room when we got there. (By the way: their place is in a spectacular location, way up in the hills, as noted in an earlier letter to Aunt Kay.) Aunt Kay brought out a large collection of implements, and Deirdre's eyes lit up. What fun she was going to have! Aunt Kay told us the history of many of the implements, and after a little while, asked Jerry to retire to the bedroom, so that she and Deidre could get started on my bottom.
What followed was an intense session of spanking that left me bruised for two weeks! They started with a "double-lap" spanking, such that the two ladies linked legs while seated across from one another on straight-backed chairs. Aunt Kay asked me to take down my trousers, and I did so, reluctantly. I was shy about exposing myself in front of our new friend, even if she was queen of the disciplinary wives. Deirdre assured me that it was ok, but I still resisted. They eventually got me to lie across their laps with my underwear still on, but once there, they pulled down my shorts to expose my bottom, bare. Once bare, they set about the business of spanking me with a hard wooden paddle or hairbrush each. This spanking hurt a great deal! The spanks came rapid fire, twice as fast as I was used to. I kept reaching around to stop them, because they didn't give me any breaks. I was complaining vigorously after a few minutes, but they kept on smacking away, all the while laughing at my predicament and commenting on the effectiveness of various implements. After maybe five minutes (maybe less: it may have just seemed like five minutes), they let me up, and I rested for a minute, rubbing my bottom. Soon, they put me over the arm of a sofa, with a pillow under my crotch to prop my bottom up higher in the air. The two of them took positions on each side of me and then proceeded to try every implement that Aunt Kay had. Deirdre especially liked a paddle (I am not sure what to call it), with holes in it. Apparently, it was easy to hold, and I reacted strongly after little effort from her. A second implement that Deirdre really liked was a riding crop. This was also easy to use, and she could get rapid hard strokes with it that made me cry out. They also liked the wooden paddles, and, of course, the cane, a thick plastic cane with the appropriate name "hollerin' hollow" (available on the DWC website...). Aunt Kay seemed to like to use this one the most. I yelped at most of her 30 or more stripes with that cane. We happen to own a hollerin' hollow cane, so I already knew what this felt like, but I have to say that Aunt Kay really knows how to use it. She has an excellent wrist technique that leaves very nasty welts. She was happily explaining to Deirdre how to do this just right. Deirdre is a quick learner, and so she picked this up pretty fast. Anyway, after a long, long time over the sofa arm, the spanking was finally over. It probably took between 15 and 30 minutes. Aunt Kay then put out a fan, where I was permitted to stand in order to cool my bottom. This was probably the longest spanking that I had ever had. As I mentioned above, it left me bruised for two weeks. Aunt Kay and Deirdre laughed about how easy this was for Deirdre, and how much fun we would have with her new techniques in the coming years. I winced, and agreed, laughing nervously as well. I was glad to finally have this spanking over with
Aunt Kay then went to get Jerry, and the four of us sat for a few minutes (me somewhat uncomfortably) and chatted happily about the evening's events. It was getting late now, and so Deirdre and I said our good-byes, and headed down the hill, back to our place. It was a great evening. We were very happy to have met such a nice couple in Aunt Kay and Jerry. In my opinion, they have done a great deal toward making the DWC lifestyle a normal, happy, lifestyle for a couple. This is such a happy, healthy way to live for me and Deirdre. I am sure that this is the case for many other couples. We look forward to seeing Aunt Kay & Jerry again in the near future. And we hope to meet some of their friends too. All the best to Aunt Kay and Jerry. They are wonderful people. Keep making people happy. Aunt Kay and Jerry you are doing a great job.
Evan
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Dear Aunt Kay:This is a little addendum to Evan's note about his and my relationship, and our visit with you and Jerry recently.
Evan wrote that letter because I asked him too. He did a good job, in my opinion: his account of our life is accurate. As he said, I do enjoy spanking him. When we first started this aspect of our relationship, he was teaching me. Now he's got what he wanted. But as he suspected, it's more than he can handle at times. But that's good for both of us. I have real control of a happy, wonderful man, and he gets his fantasy life. He is a sweetheart to me: he will do anything for me. So of course I am happy to discipline him to keep him happy. We are happier than either of us could have imagined.
Aunt Kay and Jerry are very sweet people. Evan and I had a great time with them on the two evenings we spent with them. And I had a fun time with Aunt Kay learning control of various implements on Evan's bottom. Despite Evan's protests at the time, I know he enjoyed it too.
Good luck to all of you in finding a happy relationship, within whatever framework makes you and your partner happy.