Dear Aunt Kay,
The DWC Booklet “Please Discipline Me” has been a great help to me, especially parts one and two. Let me explain, visiting your website six months ago was a revelation to me. You certainly have a great depth of knowledge regarding discipline. After reading the real people section, as well as your tips and techniques, I summed up the courage to talk to my wife about spanking me. She said at that time that she did not like the idea of spanking and did not want to talk any further about it. My approach was exactly the opposite of what it should have been. I tried further discussion several times, but it was apparent that she was turned off. Finally sending for the Booklet and after reading Part One it was quite apparent that, “It’s not about me; it’s all about her”.
Taking a new approach, the advice that you give is just extraordinary. Now I listen carefully to what my wife says and wants., adding more around the house chores, and giving as much attention and positive support as I can. She seems to be very pleased with me at this point. So, after a fashion I raised the spanking subject again, only this time there was a printout of several letters from the real people section and the common questions list. Also, an invitation to a guided tour of the DWC website.
Her response was, “What is going on here? You have already talked about this subject. We have been married 34 years and this has never come up. I want to simplify my life - not complicate it. ” So, then I presented my core argument.
“You are very good at confronting and scolding me when you are angry with me. You get the matter off your chest and clear the air, however, this leaves me feeling anguished and very guilt ridden. There is no closure for me; no emotional relief. If you were to spank me this would provide a mechanism whereby I could also find closure psychological relief and clear the air. The slate will then be clean for both of us with a fresh start.
My wife replied, “I will spank you if I get angry enough.” She said this with a kind shy smile. I am not sure what to make of it other than to keep my mouth shut and be very patient as my wife seldom gets really angry at me.
Paul