Dear Aunt Kay,
I have read every word on this site. Having had what would be called a DWC marriage for more than ten years, I am pleased to see that I am handling things pretty well, although, to my hubby's chagrin, a few things are changing for the worse for him.
However, one facet I do not feel is given sufficient discussion by the site's contributors is the matter of the husband's chores. I think this is extremely important to the woman. My husband retired a few months ago, and I decided well before the date that I would not live our final twenty or more years doing most of the housework. He now: Does all the dishes everyday, makes the bed everyday, vacuums the carpet once a week, cleans the commodes once a week, scrubs the kitchen floor biweekly, washes both cars before the weekend unless I feel the weather makes it foolish, sweeps the garage floor before the end of the first week of each month, and keeps the yard neatly trimmed.
There are no aprons or any other attempts to humiliate him unless a good sound spanking for failure to perform a task to my satisfaction is considered humiliating. He received several of these shortly after we started this routine, but it only took a few to show him the error of his ways.
For example, I decided to be extremely demanding at the outset so as to set a proper tone for him. He was told that the bed was to be made with NO wrinkles in the spread and that the bedspread and that it was to be EXACTLY the same distance from the floor on both sides of the bed. Needless to say, his first attempt failed. I called him to the bedroom and pointed out what I will admit was only a suggestion of a wrinkle, and the fact that I measured almost a two-inch difference in the drop of the spread and asked him if this was how he had been instructed. At first he said he thought it was OK. Then, I gave him the ruler and made him measure the drop. He was forced to admit that there was, indeed, a difference, and that he had failed to satisfy my demands. With a smile, I sat down on the bedroom chair, folded my skirt back and told him to bring me my paddle. In a few moments his pants were down and he was across my lap. A very short time later, he was sobbing and promising to do better in the future. He was promising long before I was finished spanking. I gave him one hundred swats - yes one hundred -and informed him that the next time he failed to please me, it would be worse. Then, sitting on a very tender derriere, he wrote two hundred times, "A husband's joy is to please his wife in every way."
As I said, it took a few sessions like this one, but he now performs his chores well, and very meekly asks for my inspection and approval when he completes one. Women who do not make a routine of this nature a part of their relationship are missing something extremely convenient for them and, although they may not want to admit it, very satisfying for their husbands.
Before his retirement, my husband knew he had better do as he was told, but now he has his list of regular duties and time limits by which I expect them done. Except when I wish to add to a chore or establish, nothing needs to be said. He gets his satisfaction pleasing me.
Carolyn