A DWC Visit

Dear Readers of the DWC,

My partner Deirdre and I recently visited the SF bay area for a few weeks.  Since we are a DWC couple, I suggested that we write to Aunt Kay about the possibility of meeting while Deirdre and I were in town. Deirdre agreed that this would be a fun idea.  But before I get to the tale of our meeting with Aunt Kay, I will provide a little history about us as a couple.

As in most (all?) DWC couples, I was the instigator of the idea of a female-led household, with spanking as a disciplinary motivation for the male.  Like most of the readers here, this idea has excited me since as early as I can remember, certainly as far back as my teenage years in the 1970s.  However, my first marriage was not successful in this regard.  It took me a while in this marriage to realize how important a female-dominant life was to be. 

 Eventually I figured myself out and told my ex-wife about my desire for her to lead our relationship.  (Does this sound familiar?  I bet it does for many of you reading this.)  She tried this style of relationship for a short while, but she was very uncomfortable with spanking me, and so, to make a long story short, she left me.  This was a devastating time for me in my life, but it turned out to be all for the better in the end, years later.  After my ex-wife and I split up, I dated several women, in a serial monogamous manner.  In my search for a new partner, I made it clear that I was looking for a female-led relationship in which the woman would dictate what she liked, and she was free to punish the male for transgressions as she saw fit.  I found that this was highly satisfactory, even desirable, to many women.  Very few women that I dated were put off by this suggestion.  But of course, this is only one factor in making a relationship work.  Consequently, it took me several years to find the right woman with the right chemistry.

I met Deirdre at work several years ago, but she was in a relationship at the time, and so was I.  After a few years, we both independently ended up leaving our partners at the time, and we then eventually got together as a couple.  We have been extremely happy ever since.  At 31, Deirdre is quite a bit younger than me, but she is very much in command of our relationship, and she wouldn't have it any other way. When I first explained to Deirdre that I would like a female-led relationship, she was skeptical.  She understood my excitement at the idea of being spanked (power games were exciting for her), but she hadn't yet met an alpha-male who seemed to want to put his woman first and have her organize their lives in such a complete way. Despite her skepticism, she agreed to try the lifestyle for a while. Initially we thought that the dominance aspect of our relationship would be a part-time thing, but after experimenting with it for a few months, we settled into a 24/7 female-dominant relationship.  Once she tried it, she was hooked.  She loves having total control in the relationship.

A recent exciting development in our spanking relationship came in the past year, with the purchase of a spanking bench.  Because I am much stronger than Deirdre (I am 6'3", 200 lbs; she is 5'5", 120 lbs), it was difficult to submit to Deirdre completely when she spanked hard with a hard implement.  If she smacked hard enough for long enough, I would struggle and get a break. I wanted to submit to her will, but practically, it was hard to do so, because I am physically too strong, and my will was not strong enough yet to stay when I am told to.  We both decided that the spankings could be more effective if she had total control over me.  I suggested that securing me to a spanking bench would give her true control.  She agreed. So, we purchased such a bench last summer, and it has been an excellent addition to our spanking life.  Up until then, I had only fantasized about losing complete control in a spanking session.  Now it was made real.  When we first got the bench, Deirdre secured me to it, made sure that I couldn't get free, and then told me of her plans to give me a spanking I would remember.  She first spanked me with Aunt Kay's "holy terror" wooden paddle for a minute without stopping, very hard.  It's amazing how much that hurts, especially with no warm-up!  I complained loudly and yelled to her to stop, but she scolded me more firmly, and laid in harder, until the time was up, then two more minutes.  Then two more sets of two minutes!  My bottom and thighs were red and well bruised by the end.  She had me crying during each of the two-minute sessions, which was an experience that I can hardly describe.  It was exhausting and exhilarating.  It was everything that I had hoped for:  a spanking that drained all my attention, so I could do nothing but feel it and let go.  We have only had a few such sessions in the past year.  They exhaust me greatly.  I will do anything to avoid them at this point.  Deirdre seems very pleased to have this control over me.  She is a natural dominant.  Furthermore, she really loves to punish me, either for transgressions, or more often now, in order to exercise her dominance in the relationship.  We are a great match: I thrive on her dominance and love, and she loves it this way too.

As I mentioned at the start of this letter, Deirdre and I visited the SF bay area for a few weeks this past summer.  I suggested that we contact Aunt Kay and Jerry, and Deirdre enthusiastically agreed.  We were both keen to meet another DWC couple like ourselves.  We are not shy people, but we don't advertise our private life to others.  Because this is not a common lifestyle (yet?), we simply don't think that we know any DWC type couples.  So, we thought it would be fun to meet Aunt Kay, who has been so great about helping others get started in this kind of lifestyle, with no guilt about enjoying it.  I first wrote to Aunt Kay in late June, and she wrote back right away, saying yes, they would be happy to meet us when we come out to visit.  Aunt Kay also asked to hear from Deirdre.  Deirdre then wrote to Aunt Kay, and the two exchanged some emails.  When Deirdre and I arrived in CA, we arranged a dinner date with Aunt Kay and Jerry at a nice local place. The four of us had a great time at dinner.  We told them our relationship story, and they told us theirs.  As others have noted, Aunt Kay and Jerry are just a normal happy couple, who happen to enjoy some female-dominant spanking.  We are the same.  No one would ever suspect that the four of us were chatting for much of the evening about the men getting spanked.  At the end of the evening, we said good night, and tentatively planned to get together again, in another week.  The following week, we met at a second fine restaurant (good choices, Aunt Kay and Jerry!), and had another relaxing dinner, talking about our lives, both the DWC aspects and the more mundane. At the end of the meal, Aunt Kay and Jerry suggested that we come back to their place, so that Aunt Kay could show Deirdre some spanking techniques (on my bottom!).  I was nervous about this idea, because I find spanking to be very personal: it's between Deirdre and me.  But I was also happy to do this, because Deirdre and I really liked Aunt Kay and Jerry, and this seemed like a good way for us to bond with another similar couple.  So, since Deirdre wanted to do this, I nervously agreed.  (I suspect that if she didn't want to go, I would have been a little disappointed.  But I didn't have to deal with this kind of disappointment: Deirdre wanted to learn whatever tricks she could to keep me in line. Deirdre is a great partner!)  We headed up to Kay & Jerry's place and sat down in their living room when we got there. (By the way: their place is in a spectacular location, way up in the hills, as noted in an earlier letter to Aunt Kay.)  Aunt Kay brought out a large collection of implements, and Deirdre's eyes lit up.  What fun she was going to have!  Aunt Kay told us the history of many of the implements, and after a little while, asked Jerry to retire to the bedroom, so that she and Deidre could get started on my bottom.

What followed was an intense session of spanking that left me bruised for two weeks!  They started with a "double-lap" spanking, such that the two ladies linked legs while seated across from one another on straight-backed chairs.  Aunt Kay asked me to take down my trousers, and I did so, reluctantly.  I was shy about exposing myself in front of our new friend, even if she was queen of the disciplinary wives. Deirdre assured me that it was ok, but I still resisted.  They eventually got me to lie across their laps with my underwear still on, but once there, they pulled down my shorts to expose my bottom, bare. Once bare, they set about the business of spanking me with a hard wooden paddle or hairbrush each.  This spanking hurt a great deal! The spanks came rapid fire, twice as fast as I was used to.  I kept reaching around to stop them, because they didn't give me any breaks. I was complaining vigorously after a few minutes, but they kept on smacking away, all the while laughing at my predicament and commenting on the effectiveness of various implements.  After maybe five minutes (maybe less: it may have just seemed like five minutes), they let me up, and I rested for a minute, rubbing my bottom.  Soon, they put me over the arm of a sofa, with a pillow under my crotch to prop my bottom up higher in the air.  The two of them took positions on each side of me and then proceeded to try every implement that Aunt Kay had.  Deirdre especially liked a paddle (I am not sure what to call it), with holes in it.  Apparently, it was easy to hold, and I reacted strongly after little effort from her.   A second implement that Deirdre really liked was a riding crop.  This was also easy to use, and she could get rapid hard strokes with it that made me cry out.  They also liked the wooden paddles, and, of course, the cane, a thick plastic cane with the appropriate name "hollerin' hollow" (available on the DWC website...).  Aunt Kay seemed to like to use this one the most.  I yelped at most of her 30 or more stripes with that cane.  We happen to own a hollerin' hollow cane, so I already knew what this felt like, but I have to say that Aunt Kay really knows how to use it.  She has an excellent wrist technique that leaves very nasty welts.  She was happily explaining to Deirdre how to do this just right.  Deirdre is a quick learner, and so she picked this up pretty fast.  Anyway, after a long, long time over the sofa arm, the spanking was finally over.  It probably took between 15 and 30 minutes.  Aunt Kay then put out a fan, where I was permitted to stand in order to cool my bottom.  This was probably the longest spanking that I had ever had.  As I mentioned above, it left me bruised for two weeks.  Aunt Kay and Deirdre laughed about how easy this was for Deirdre, and how much fun we would have with her new techniques in the coming years.  I winced, and agreed, laughing nervously as well. I was glad to finally have this spanking over with

Aunt Kay then went to get Jerry, and the four of us sat for a few minutes (me somewhat uncomfortably) and chatted happily about the evening's events.  It was getting late now, and so Deirdre and I said our good-byes, and headed down the hill, back to our place.  It was a great evening.  We were very happy to have met such a nice couple in Aunt Kay and Jerry.  In my opinion, they have done a great deal toward making the DWC lifestyle a normal, happy, lifestyle for a couple. This is such a happy, healthy way to live for me and Deirdre.  I am sure that this is the case for many other couples.  We look forward to seeing Aunt Kay & Jerry again in the near future.  And we hope to meet some of their friends too.  All the best to Aunt Kay and Jerry.  They are wonderful people.  Keep making people happy.  Aunt Kay and Jerry you are doing a great job.

Evan

**********************************************************

Dear Aunt Kay:This is a little addendum to Evan's note about his and my relationship, and our visit with you and Jerry recently.

Evan wrote that letter because I asked him too. He did a good job, in my opinion: his account of our life is accurate.  As he said, I do enjoy spanking him. When we first started this aspect of our relationship, he was teaching me.  Now he's got what he wanted. But as he suspected, it's more than he can handle at times. But that's good for both of us. I have real control of a happy, wonderful man, and he gets his fantasy life. He is a sweetheart to me: he will do anything for me. So of course I am happy to discipline him to keep him happy. We are happier than either of us could have imagined.  

Aunt Kay and Jerry are very sweet people. Evan and I had a great time with them on the two evenings we spent with them.  And I had a fun time with Aunt Kay learning control of various implements on Evan's bottom.  Despite Evan's protests at the time, I know he enjoyed it too.

Good luck to all of you in finding a happy relationship, within whatever framework makes you and your partner happy.

George in the UK

Dear Aunt Kay,

Though I am in the UK, I wanted to wish you a very Happy Thanksgiving.

You, through your website and more, have given a tremendous number of men and women a place to touch a really intimate place within ourselves and I know that I can safely say that your books and videos have changed my life for the better.

I look forward to reading the survey when it is completed. Thank you for doing this. If we are ever able to be in the Bay area for an extended period, we'd like to be able to thank you personally for showing us the road to domestic happiness and balance.

Sincerely,

George K.

After All These Years

Dear Aunt Kay,

My wife and I found your website and thought it was very interesting. I am 57 and my wife is 55. I just recently retired, while my wife is still working. We felt it was a natural fit for her to be totally in charge, so we agreed to try the lifestyle you subscribe to. I have a list of household chores I must do every day. They include washing the dishes, scrubbing the floors, doing the laundry, making the bed etc.

I receive a maintenance spanking every Monday night. My wife has a paddle, she sits on the couch and orders me to pull my pants and underpants done. I am then placed across her lap. She proceeds in giving me the 4, 4 and 8 warm up spanking before she gives me 40 very hard spanks. I must then thank her for the discipline.

I received my first disciplinary spanking this morning. We were out last night and my wife told me I couldn't have more than two drinks. Well, I got stupid and had about five drinks which made me a little drunk and she had to drive us home. This morning, she told me I was going to be spanked for disobeying her the night before. She put me across her lap and proceeded in giving me 60 hard spanks with the paddle. She then made me bend over a kitchen chair and gave me 60 more very hard spanks with a long-handled bath brush. I have a few cuts on my butt from that spanking and it hurt like heck.

She informed me that I will still receive my weekly maintenance spanking tomorrow night. I know it is going to hurt more than usual because my butt is sore from this morning's spanking.

Even with the spankings I still love my new lifestyle. My wife and I have been enjoying our sex life even more than ever. I love her very much for taking control and I enjoy it when she gives me orders in front of other people.

Thank you so much for the web site. It has certainly made our marriage stronger than at any other time during our 35+ years.

Stephen

Strict Again

Dear Aunt K,

You may have heard this before. After a couple years of off and on (sickness, travel, etc,) my wife said we need to get strict again. Before she was good at discipline- now she is really in charge. If a man desires this, he (in my experience) must do exactly as you say-mostly show her it works. If this is done, she will gain confidence and be gratified at not being frustrated with all the silly things men are prone to and she will be more loving, relaxed and confident.

Any man who does not want this is living a tough life. Another thing I've noticed. Because I have been better at things- so has she. She is not as overloaded and fatigued and so she has time for her hobbies and projects that I complained were cluttering our storage. The real manly stupidity is why we need disciplining to see these advantages. If you ever do another survey, perhaps you could explore the marriage satisfaction. To some extent this is already in your real people and guest emails.

Scott

PS thank you for the discreet nature of your site.

More in Love

I enjoy your website immensely; I’ve read every word.  It is no exaggeration to say it’s played a big role in changing my life and, especially, changing our marriage.  

I’ve been into spanking my entire life, Aunt Kay.  I actually engineered spanking games with other children when I was as young as five.  I’m sure there had to be a sexual component even then, although that boggles the mind and is beyond my intellectual comprehension.  As a young teenager, masturbating usually was performed to the tune of spanking fantasies.  

My wife, whom I treasure, has role-played spanking fantasies with me our entire married life.  I have this “nine-year-old” persona who needs to be disciplined by Mommy; the more embarrassing, the more erotic.  There are many scenes we do, other things besides spanking, but the main focus always includes a good hard bare-bottom spanking. These spankings, given with hairbrushes, paddles, and the bath-brush, are exceedingly painful; and yet…highly erotic. The level of pleasure defies the imagination, especially considering the level of pain I’m forced to endure.  I think it could be best described as “being in a zone,” the same way athletes often describe their concentration-to-level-of-performance ratio.  These spankings are trips to such dizzying heights of pleasure, pure joy.  I’ve always had powerful fantasies about being spanked in front of another woman (or by another woman), but that has never happened and I doubt it ever will.  Actually, despite the power of the fantasy, even I’m not sure it would be a positive. 

 About eight months ago, when I first came across the Disciplinary Wives Club website, I was emotionally captured, you might say.  I shared the site with my wife, and we discussed the possibilities of incorporating this lifestyle into our marriage; on our own terms, of course.  We have done so and the results are beyond Incredible.  We took a good marriage—albeit one with far too much anger and conflict, on both our parts—and created a marriage most people only dream about.  

My wife has absolute control now, and I obey her every directive.  When I’m “bad,” she sends me upstairs to get ready for a whipping with one or more of her many canes.  She has a collection worthy of her disciplinary talents.  Getting “ready” means masturbating first to get rid of the sexual/pleasure component (something we learned from one of the many letters sent in to the Disciplinary Wives Club). It truly works. All the sexual anticipation of being punished—in this case, wife to husband, adult to adult, no little boy persona—instantly dissipates at the moment of orgasm, gone, poof, nothing but dread now in its place. 

And there is plenty to dread: I must be in position when she comes upstairs—lying across the ottoman, underpants down, awaiting my punishment.  She sits on the edge of the bathtub, picks up one of the canes, begins discussing the lesson she’s about to administer, and then the whipping commences.  There is no way these punishments can be called “spankings”; they’re really whippings and it’s a good thing we live in a house and not an apartment—my cries are loud and full of anguish.  They last but a few minutes, but those few minutes seem like an eternity.  I’m reduced to pleading and begging, but to no avail until she’s satisfied the lesson has been learned, and the lesson does get learned, I assure you.  There have been very few times she has had to whip me for the same offense.  

She has a list of rules, things I have to adhere to, or else, and the list keeps getting longer all the time.  Some of the things I have learned to obey are: treating others with respect, not allowing my anger to get the best of me, not being so impatient; not interrupting her while she’s on the telephone, or if we’re with others; not getting snippy because I didn’t like being told something; foul language; not being clear in my business writing, which has caused her extra work; forgetting, because of feeling rushed, to wash my hands after using the bathroom; driving in a manner she disapproves of; not getting my chores done in a timely manner; I could go further, but you get the idea.  

Part of our disciplinary arrangement requires me to report any offenses committed not in her presence; which I adhere to 100%, no exceptions; I wouldn’t even think of not telling her that I had been “bad”.  The stricter she has become, the more I seem to love her.  I can’t get enough of her, Aunt Kay.  I’m so in love with her that I can’t think straight sometimes.  There is nothing on this earth I wouldn’t do for her, or anything she can’t have.  We have zero conflict, which is such a relief.  

The best part is that she has made me a far better man than I could ever have hoped to be. I like myself so much more these days, and I have her to thank for it.  My cup runneth over. I’m sure this lifestyle isn’t for everyone; perhaps it isn’t even for the great majority; but it works for us and I’ve come to the conclusion that having one of the marriage partners—be it a man or a woman--have Absolute Control, with the power to spank/whip to enforce that Absolute Control, is the path to the Joy of Marriage.

So, thank you a thousand times over for your wonderful website.  I hope someday I can say that in person and give you a huge hug to give tangible effect to my thank you.

A Letter from Mrs. Warren

[Note: This entry in the DWC website originally was accompanied by six photographs supplied by the author, Mrs. Warren.  They were no longer posted at the time the DWC website became defunct. It’s also not clear whether Mrs. Warren would be OK with her photos being replicated here. Therefore, they are not included in this story.] 

Dear Aunt Kay,

Thank you for your wonderful and very informative site! My husband and I have been using domestic discipline in our marriage since 1997. Although we already had a strong marriage and a good relationship, it still needed some improvement. That is when my husband introduced me to your great website. Admittedly, I was taken aback at first because the mere idea of spanking a grown man seemed somewhat absurd.

However, once my husband confided in me that it was what he wanted, I decided to give it a chance. I agreed to take charge of his personal discipline. We both hoped that corporal punishment would help him curb some of his undesirable behavioral tendencies. I am happy to say that it has served its purpose well! We both have come to appreciate the value that spanking him has added to our marriage.

I keep a Disciplinary Diary, which is a record of our domestic spankings. In this book there is a list of rules that we both must follow for the good of the marriage. Generally speaking, I have no problem following them, however, they are bit more challenging for my husband. Any violation on his part of “The Rules” results in him getting a spanking. The duration of his spanking depends upon how many rules are broken. In this book I also keep a record of all his violations and the subsequent spankings.

This is what our typical spanking set up looks like. In the first picture you can see my Disciplinary Diary on our spanking chair along with my favorite paddle. I purchased the paddle from your website, it is called “The School Maarm” and it is perfect for over-the-knee spanking!

Once I am comfortably seated in the spanking chair, I call my naughty boy into the room.  It is time for me to give him a good, hard, over-the-knee spanking.  I have him place the Disciplinary Diary on the floor where he will be able to see it once he is over my lap. Of course, it is opened to “The Rules” page so he has something to focus on during his spanking.  He is then summoned to my right side, and I discuss with him his infractions and why he is getting a spanking.  This is usually when the lecture or scolding begins.  I make sure that the paddle is sitting in my lap in order for him to see it. During the lecture, it is always difficult for him to maintain good eye contact with me because his eyes keep glancing down to my paddle. No doubt he is anticipating the pain that it will soon inflict upon his bottom!

Satisfied that he understands the reason(s) for his spanking, I then direct him to bare his bottom. I have found that it seems to be more humiliating for him if I have him take his pants and underwear down himself. With fumbling fingers, he unbuckles his belt and then unzips his pants.

I always spank him on his bare bottom. I want to make sure he feels it, and I think it adds an important ingredient to the entire experience. It serves to minimize the “male ego!” It is usually with a red face that my husband bares his bottom. It is my desire to make his rump just as red. His excitement is obvious once his pants are down around his ankles. However, within the first minute of his spanking that will be minimized as well.

“Bare your bottom, Mister!” I order. “Pull those pants all the way down to your ankles. You know I always spank you bare.” I remind him. The only acceptable reply is, “Yes Ma’am!” and “Yes Ma’am!” it is.  With his thumbs inside the waist of his pants, he simultaneously pulls down his pants and underwear.

I really appreciate the instruction that you give in your “Tips and Methods,” Aunt Kay. I am especially fond of the Ambiance and Your Attitude admonition that a submissive man does not want a weak or lenient woman. He wants someone very strict and dominant. If he wanted anything different, he wouldn't be over your knees in the first place.  This is so very true! I must be stern with him so that there is no doubt in his mind that I am about to give him a spanking.

Even if I wanted to, I could not physically force my husband over my lap for a spanking. He goes over my knee because he knows it is in his best interest to do so. It is in the best interest of our marriage that I paddle his bottom on a regular basis.

As a result of applying your methods, I have come to appreciate the power of the paddle! Non-DWC wives have to nag or badger their husbands to get things done or correct their bad behavior. And, as most women know, this rarely works. However, as we both can appreciate, our threats carry the force of an embarrassing and painful spanking. All I have to do is threaten my husband with the paddle and he knows that he had better straighten up! Otherwise, he is going to get paddled. This is discipline that I firmly and lovingly provide.  Corporal discipline is both what he needs and wants, even if he may not desire it at that particular time.

“That’s it, get those pants down around your ankles.”  I demand.  His britches will remain there for the next half hour or so. I will not allow him to pull them up again until after his spanking and corner time.

Now it is time for him to assume the position. Of all the possible spanking positions, over-the-knee spanking is my favorite. It clearly establishes who is in charge during the session. While I am sitting down on my bottom, his bottom is bare and in the air, waiting for my paddle!

With his pants and perhaps his pride down around his ankles, I tap my knee with the paddle. He knows to quickly obey my command. “Okay, get over my knee!” Although I usually don’t have to say anything, I order him over my lap. “Yes Ma’am” he contritely responds.  Over my lap he goes.  As he climbs over my knee, I remember your instructions to not be afraid to humiliate, and above all, when that bare bottom is turned upside down across your knee waiting for the paddle or hairbrush, don't disappoint him.

Once he is in position and I am comfortable with his weight across my lap, I like to caress his bare bottom with my paddle. “You know better than to break the rules now don’t you?” I ask. “Yes Ma’am” he replies. His pale rump quivers in anticipation of the spanking to come.  “What happens when you break the rules?” I ask. “I get a spanking, Ma’am.” he answers. “Yes, you get a spanking.” I add. “A well deserved spanking! I am going to blister your bottom!”

“Yes Ma’am.”  he acknowledges.  I now have his undivided attention!

I then begin his disciplinary session. I usually do my best to follow your advice Kay, by giving him a good warm-up. I begin his spanking by paddling his bottom in spurts of four to six licks. He begins to squirm a bit, but he does his best to keep it to a minimum. Within the first minute of the spanking, I can feel that his excitement has waned. The sting of my paddle has eliminated any of his sexual fantasies or desires to be spanked. This is a real spanking, and the reality is that he is going to have a very sore and tender behind when I’m through! I am now completely focused on spanking his naughty bare bottom.

I increase the series of swats to ten or twelve. He moans in pain as he firmly clutches my left ankle. “You deserve this spanking and you’re going to get it!” I scold him. “This is what happens when you act like a brat and break the rules!” “You keep your head down and your rump up!” I demand. 

“Yesss Maaaam!” he cries.  I can see that he is trying to cheat by straightening his legs. This makes it easier for him to take the spanking by clinching his buttocks. But I know how to remedy this situation.  “I see what you are doing!” I declare. His warm-up time is over.

I usually only allow a few minutes for warm-up time. It really depends on the number of infractions and how long the spanking is going to last. One violation results in a ten-minute OTK spanking and five minutes more for each violation. This spanking was for two violations, so it lasted for fifteen minutes.

This is not fifteen minutes of non-stop spanking. I’m afraid my arm would give out if that were the case! This is the amount of time I’m paddling his bottom and scolding him between series. For longer spanking sessions, which may last twenty-five to thirty minutes, I usually take a recess for my arm and send him to the corner midway through. Then once I’m ready, the timer starts again and he goes back over my knee for the remainder of his spanking.

“Bend your knees and hold your position!” I tell him as I tap the back of his knees with my paddle.  “Yes Ma’am.” He quickly answers catching his breath. Now I begin to paddle his bottom almost non-stop! The only time I pause is to catch my own breath. It is during such a pause that I examine his bottom. I want to make sure that his rump is showing the signs of a good, hard spanking.  I can tell by his demeanor that the paddle is getting through to him.  If he wasn’t sorry before, he definitely is now!

“Crack, crack, crack, crack, crack….oooh!” The only sound in the room is the crack of the paddle across his bare bottom. He moans and groans in pain as he secures a firm grip on my ankle once again. With his knees bent, I begin to paddle the tenderest area of his behind. As you know Kay, this makes for a much more painful and therefore a more effective spanking!

As I vigorously paddle his bottom, I am reminded of your instructions Kay: “This isn't a small child you are holding over your lap by force -- this is a grown man who needs and wants a hard spanking. Give it to him and pay no attention to his cries for mercy. The longer and harder you spank, the more he will love you for it.”

This is so true! It seems the harder I spank him, the more loving and affectionate he is to me later. He is always a much more attentive and caring husband after I have given him a hard spanking.

I pause to catch my breath after delivering a series of fifty to sixty licks non-stop. “Oh my God!” He exclaims. “My butt feels like it‘s on fire!” “Is my spanking almost over yet?” he whines. This is not an unusual question, even though he knows that it will be almost over once my timer goes off. “Did you hear the timer?” I ask. “No Ma’am” he replies.  I glance down at the timer and notice that there are only a few minutes left. “Did I say I was done paddling your bottom?” I ask. “No Ma’am,” he says. “ You know better than to ask if your spanking is over!” I reply firmly.

“Yes Ma’am!” he bashfully answers. It is now time for the finale. This is the conclusion of his spanking. I often refer to this as his “rump roasting” because this is when I really aim to blister his bottom good.

Yes, this is when I want to make sure I drive home the message! “Give me your hand and bend your knees completely.” I demand. “Yes Ma’am” he replies as he reluctantly gives me his right hand. I take hold of his right hand with my left.  With his hand in mine, I now begin to swing the paddle as hard as I can, aiming exclusively for his sweet spot. “CRACK, CRACK, CRACK, CRACK, CRACK……..OH GOD!” he cries.

He squirms in pain but he can’t go anywhere because I have his arm pinned behind his back. As he squeezes my hand, I tenaciously spank his bottom! “CRACK, CRACK, CRACK, CRACK……OOOOH! he cries.

I ignore his whimpering as I relentlessly roast his rump with the paddle! I want him to remember this lesson every time he sits down. In fact, I want him to think about me and how his behavior affects us. He will be reminded of the consequences for not obeying the rules every time he sits down.

As I blister his bottom, I recall your advice: 

“A spanking should be an event to remember. Don't worry about how red his bottom gets. The more color you put into it, the better you are doing. Don't pay any attention to his cries and pleas and promises. He will tell you anything to get you to stop.”  

CRACK, CRACK, CRACK, CRACK, CRACK …….OH….OOOH…PLEASE! he groans. 

By now, I am totally focused on spanking him. With his bottom at a perfect 90 degree angle, I roast his rump non-stop. I blister his bottom swinging the paddle as hard as I can. His lips quiver in pain and his eyes tear up. Although he is not sobbing, his grip on my hand is deathly, his moans agonizing.

The spanking is almost over, so I must make every second count. Fifteen minutes ago, his bottom was a pale creamy white, but now it is a nice rosy shade of red. Mild blisters have formed on both of his buns. He struggles to hold his position but there is no escaping the paddle! I can feel his heart beating rapidly against my thigh. Every muscle in his body is tense and his breathing is labored but controlled.  The room is filled with the sound of my wooden paddle spanking his bare bottom accompanied by his moaning and groaning.

I paddle one cheek, then the other and then both doing my best to make sure I give his buns equal attention. It is during the conclusion of the session that I really focus on paddling the lower portion of his rump, where his legs meet his bottom.  He is going to feel this spanking for the next four or five days.

“CRACK, CRACK, CRACK, CRACK …….OOOOH……UHHHH …..HONEY PLEASE!” he moans. The paddle keeps coming full force on the vulnerable target.

 The sounds of spanking are now accompanied with the sound of my timer. The spanking doesn’t end until I say it does. However, once the timer goes off, I usually end the session shortly afterwards. If he has been really bad, then I may have him stand up for some additional licks with my stand-up paddle or cane. When this occurs, he is required to grab his ankles and count each swat.

This is not the case for this illustrated story. His spanking is now over. As he lies across my lap and catches his breath, I examine his roasted rump. “Okay you may get up now.” I tell him. As he climbs off of my lap, I observe that his face matches his crimson bottom.

Once again I am reminded of your closing words Aunt Kay: “When you let him up, his eyes should be wet with tears, his knees should be quivering, and his bottom blistered!”

I now send my remorseful husband to the corner so he can think about why is bottom is  throbbing. “Now go stand in the corner and don’t come out until I tell you to.” I tell him. “Yes Ma’am” he replies. 

Once his corner time is over, he apologizes for his behavior and thanks me for spanking him. He now is allowed to pull his pants up and continue on with the rest of his day. For the next the week, or at least as long as his bottom is sore, he is a perfect gentlemen!

Spanking serves as a “checks and balances” system for us. It has helped us resolve some serious behavioral issues. It has made him a more dedicated husband and me a more confident wife. We are both happier as a result! This is what the Disciplinary Wives Club means to me. So, thank you Aunt Kay and Jerry for your wonderful site! I hope you enjoy our first ever Real Story with pictures!

                                                                            Sincerely,

                                                                          Mrs. Warren

Dear Aunt Kay I and II

Dear Aunt Kay,

You have created a wonderful website that is very informative and your implements are of outstanding quality. My wife’s favorite is Old Reliable. We have purchased three of your paddles, two canes and two books and all are absolutely great.

Although we have been to your website numerous times, our attempts at the lifestyle weren’t really successful. I think the main reason was (just learned this in the last couple of days) that my wife felt that being spanked was just a sexual fantasy of mine and that it was just one more chore to add to her list. Her punishments were irregular and usually not severe enough to change any bad behavior (although there were a few exceptions).

Sometime around January 15, I visited the website to see if you had added any new implements. Instead of a new paddle, etc. I found the letter from Mrs. Warren! She sounded as if she could have been my wife. She outlined a very structured system, and her idea of a timer was nothing short of brilliant, along with her diary. My wife is very structured and list oriented. That weekend while we were at the computer for another reason I went to the website and showed her Mrs. Warren’s letter, and when she said she liked the timer idea I presented her with a brand new timer of her own. She also liked the diary and said we needed to get a notebook. While she was at work that Monday I went and purchased a really nice binder. It has a clear sleeve on its cover so I downloaded a copy of the window scene and the DWC logo and inserted them inside the sleeve. I wrote a “Mission Statement” and since I couldn’t find any of our DWC contracts I made up a Chore and Rule Agreement form. When she came home from work that evening she was impressed and we agreed that our new lifestyle would start Feb. 1. We also agreed that in the meantime there would be some “training” sessions.

When she came home on Tuesday evening, I had added her caning manual and a copy of Mrs. Warren’s letter as our guide to the book along with a section called The Weekly Review and Punishment Log. There is also a section on the different types of spankings. If a chore is not done, or not done correctly, there may or may not be an immediate spanking, but either way it is listed in the log. Breaking a rule gets an immediate spanking plus entered into the log. Every Saturday AM is weekly review and punishment time.

Just like Mrs. Warren, 1 offense equals a 10 min. session, plus 5 min. for each additional offense. Two or more offenses will also earn 5 cane strokes per offense.  She said she thought it was time for the first training session and that it would be a 5 min. one.  I was thinking that this was going to be like the spankings in the past, just over her knee for a longer period of time.  It was rather appropriate that this was the same day that the man that ran on “real change” was inaugurated  as President. When the 5 min. was over my bottom was on fire ! I had never had a spanking like that in my life. There was also a feeling of contentment that is also indescribable . The next day I met her during lunch and I told her that we should have made a video of the night before because it would have been perfect for a DWC training video and that my backside was still sore.

She promised that she was going to add to it when she got home.  That one was bent over a barstool and was only 12 spanks with a ping pong paddle, but there were tears in my eyes when I stood up. That Saturday AM  I received a 10 min. training spanking for our weekly review and somehow I though I heard fire trucks on their way. I asked her what had made such a huge difference in her spankings and she said that my putting that much time and effort into making  the manual had convinced her that my need was not sexually driven. We also agreed that we were starting the lifestyle right then.

Another  Saturday AM weekly review has come and gone since then and I had forgotten one chore and broken one rule ( one that was a double entry into the log plus 5 additional cane strokes ) so that was a 20 min. session and 15 cane strokes. The timed sessions work very well as she has all the time she needs to scold while my bottom is in position for her to add emphasis when she pleases. There have been very few days since Jan. 20th that my bottom hasn’t been sore, but there also hasn’t been a time in my life when I have been any happier. She tells me that her happiness is off the charts because of my new attitude and  sharing the workload as well as giving her some special attention.

All I can say to men that think this is the lifestyle that they want is to search their souls and be absolutely sure of it first, then try to find a way for it to fit your wife’s personality so that it is not going to be impossible for her and last but not least, make one of your first rules one that states that even if you decide in the future that you don’t want to be spanked that it is ok as long as you obey her, do your chores and  follow the rules. If not, you’ll be spanked, like it or not. It is totally unfair for you to expect your wife to make this big of a change and then change back for whatever reason that you choose.

We have also added a point system to our book. If no rules are broken, all chores done correctly and on time and I have not disobeyed her for the week I receive so many points. If I have anything in the log for that week  so many points are deducted for each offense. There is a list of  rewards and how many points it takes to get them. When I have enough points saved I may purchase my choice. If I don’t have enough I must save until I do.

There has been one side effect that neither of us expected. We are kissing, holding hands and totally crazy about each other again. We have always loved each other, but it has brought us closer together and it happened almost immediately upon starting this lifestyle.

This is a message to Mrs. Warren. Thank you so much for writing your letter. Every Saturday AM around 8 I hope that it brings a smile to your face knowing that there is another husband  over his wife’s knee getting his “rump roasted” and that he is eternally grateful to you.

Thanks again Aunt Kay and wish you continued success with your website.

_____________________

Dear Aunt Kay:

I have been a member of this website for quite a few years now, back when You called potential members and spoke to the wife personally. we were going along pretty good and then I got sick (cancer) which I beat; five years and no sign of it coming back.

I just wanted you to know that we stayed away from the spankings for a long time, but as you know we husbands cannot stay away for very long. I have been to many many websites. Yours is still the most honest  and genuine of all of them. I feel comfortable on your site. More comfortable than any other site I have visited.

I just wanted to tell you that my wife and I are back into DWC, and it feel like I have come home from a long journey. I am so happy that she is really getting back in the swing of things. I think she agreed to come back because your site is so genuine.

Thanks again.

Paul

Morning Ritual

Dear Aunt Kay,

I think your website is just great.

My wife and I have been married for 30 years. She takes care of my every need, and we have had wonderful romance and outstanding sex for all those years. A couple of years ago I told her a fantasy that I have had since the age of about 12; that I dreamed of being paddled lovingly by strong willed women. She asked me why I waited so long to tell. I said, “Well, it’s not exactly a normal thing.” She, a totally open minded and willing to try anything woman, answered, “Who cares.”

Our morning ritual is coffee in bed while we listen to the morning shows and I massage her back. When she has had sufficient massage, she will say, “Well, I guess we better get on with your spanking.” (She alternates with other erotic terms like, “ass blistering”, “scorching your behind” and “frying your ass.”) I naturally object saying things like, “it isn’t right” and“ it’s against the natural order things” and she answers, “It’s the most necessary thing in the world. You couldn’t get through a day without it. We need to get things straight with that naughty little boy inside of you so you can make it through the day.” Then she massages me whilst telling me dthat the paddle is very near and she is going to cook my behind. She puts her hand between my legs and while touching the cheeks of my hiney says, “And right there is going to be burned up like a crispy critter.” I wiggle and moan in ecstasy.

The paddle is a long handled wooden cooking spoon that I have modified by extending the handle with a 7/8th’s diameter by 7 inch long dowel. That gives her plenty of gripping surface and plenty of leverage.

When I just cannot take any more taunting, she has me lie along the edge of the bed with a very large pillow under my pelvis so that my hiney is way up in the air and she paddles me sooo skillfully producing deep penetrating sensations and a deep red glow (actually, I have calluses on the cheeks.) When I complain about the treatment (which I always do), she just gives me more and harder while telling that it is an absolute necessity to keep “that naughty little boy” straight.

We have a round Japanese style tub with high walls and a seat. Occasionally when I am bathing, she comes to the bathroom with her paddle, makes me bend over the side of the tub and fries my wet hiney. That is just wickedly delicious. Sometimes I am at the kitchen counter fixing my lunch and she will take a standard issue cooking spoon from the drawer and fry me where I stand.

My mother and her sisters came from the southeast. They were very dominant women and blistered me frequently with wooden spoons and switches. I hated to hear, “Ya know, you haven’t had a whippin’ lately” because I knew one was coming whether I had done anything bad or not. Their philosophy was the little boys needed to whipped just because they were little boys. I doubt they had any idea they were giving me something that would be so totally enjoyable later in life. I say Phhhht!!! to them and oddly remember some of those whippings with intense feelings of erotic joy.

Your web site makes me feel very comfortable that I am not alone in harboring a little boy inside me needing special forms of love and affection.

Thank you very much,

Sincerely,

Harold

Disciplined Boyfriend

Dear Aunt Kay,

About a month back, I e-mailed you on behalf of my girlfriend stating that she felt spankings were not having the desired effect. You suggested she apply more. I can report she most definitely took your advice!

Probably within 10 minutes of her viewing your reply, I was across her lap.

In the past this had meant a somewhat red bottom, and a lecture on my behavior. This time was completely different. The spanking was by far the hardest she had ever administered, leaving my bottom not just red, but very sore. And I mean SORE! Since then, she is much more demanding, and much quicker to put me across her lap. She says the results have been wonderful! Indeed, they have as I now try my best to avoid her even thinking of putting me over her knee. However, I am not always successful, and she is quick to correct, even the most trivial of errors.

Just wanted to update you.

Signed, A very well DISCIPLINED boyfriend

Just Found the DWC Website

Hi Aunt Kay!  

I just discovered your website and am really fascinated by it.  My wife and I have dabbled in spanking, and things that are a bit kinkier, but have only just begun to use it seriously.  I am a mostly submissive switch.  I do enjoy giving my wife light, fun spankings as foreplay. She, on the other hand, is basically dominant, and really spanks hard, often with a wooden hairbrush that really hurts.  Since she has been seriously disciplining me on a daily basis our relationship has improved tremendously.  My daily spankings seem to give her a real boost, and they provide me with great stress relief, and (strangely enough) they are something they I look forward too.  Last night was the longest, and hardest yet (she seems to really be settling into her role as disciplinarian), and was (for me) both the most unpleasant and simultaneously enjoyable such encounter that we've had.

Thanks so much for your website.

Best regards,

Matt

A New Beginning

Dear Aunt Kay,

My name is Robert. Nancy and I have been married for almost 26 years. While we have had our ups and downs (mainly due to my emotional immaturity), we love each other more than ever. 

Over the last several years, I have brought up the subject of spanking as an attitude adjustment for me when I get all sulky and angry as well as neglectful of my chores. We have on several occasions made lists with duties and consequences. I have always been the one to enforce these rules by requesting a spanking. Sometimes, though, I would get stubborn and refuse to ask. I would get frustrated and ruin many a perfectly good evening. Days and sometimes weeks would pass before she would ask me if I needed a spanking. Often, I would lie and say no.

This cycle continued until I came across your site and read the statement of purpose, the tips and methods, and the real people section. I read the first two to her the other day and asked if she would be willing to try this lifestyle for a month like a test drive. She agreed. So far so good. We have a couple of things, including my attitude, for which I am immediately disciplined. My attitude, however, has been much improved since we made this arrangement because I am happy. I have done a few things to earn a spanking on purpose just to test her and she has met the challenge. Corner time, which I hate, has also been incorporated into my punishment. I hope she sees the benefits to herself and becomes more assertive in her role. She is reluctant to give me the harsh punishment I really need and crave. Maybe as she gets more comfortable in her new position. I did request a long, hard spanking yesterday and she did her best but still held back for fear of hurting me. I have read supposedly true accounts of men spanked to tears. I would love to experience this catharsis.

As I mentioned at the beginning of this letter, I am emotionally immature. I lack the ability to cry easily at real life situations and am brought easily to tears by a sad movie. I would die to be able to weep at my shortcomings and my wife's disappointment and disapproval. I have a feeling, though, that I am more disappointed in myself than she is. 

Anyway, sorry about the rambling. I really wanted to thank you for your website and hope the information will be productive for my wife and I.

Robert

A Better Person

Dear Aunt Kay,

Shortly after Irene and I were married, we were going somewhere in the car and I was tired and aggravated at the time by the slow driver in front of me, and I cussed at him 3 or 4 different times. Finally, Irene said, "Stop that. I really ought to spank you for speaking like that". 

Well, I stopped cussing and nothing more was said on the subject the rest of the day, but later on that evening I began to think about what she had said, and I could not get it out of my mind. The whole concept of being spanked by my wife was very intriguing to me, and I thought about it constantly, day and night, eventually coming to the conclusion that I knew I wanted her to be the disciplinarian in our household. But, by the same token, I was afraid to ask her because I was afraid of what she might think of me, so I stayed quiet on the subject, that is until a few days later when I got up my courage and blurted out to Irene, "Yes, you were right the other day. You should have spanked me. Maybe if you did I would learn to watch my language." 

Irene just smiled and listened and didn't say anything at that time. I figured that now it was up to her to think about what I had said. Well, she didn't think about it too long, because the very next day she sat me down, looked me in the eye, and told me that she had thought about it and had decided that from that point on she was going to spank me whenever I committed any one of 4 different offenses - disobedience to her, disrespect to her or anyone else, cussing or excessive drinking.

During my first two spankings, Irene was very tentative. She didn't spank very hard and did not make me pull down my underwear, so I also had a little extra padding to protect my rear end. But that all changed before my third spanking - my first "real" spanking - and has remained the same ever since. My wrongdoing in that case was that I had not finished cleaning the basement in a timely manner, and Irene considers that to be disobedience. I had started to clean it on Saturday morning and had gotten a large portion of it done but had not finished. The following Monday morning Irene went shopping and ordered me to have it finished by the time she got back or there would be consequences to pay - and I knew full well what that meant. She said that as far as she was concerned, she should have already spanked me for not finishing on Saturday. Well, after Irene left a friend stopped by, and I ended up talking to him for a good while, and so I was late getting started cleaning. At the time I really didn't think too much about Irene's warning, because my previous spankings had all been bearable and I figured that even if I did end up over her knee, I could handle it - WRONG! 

When Irene got home and saw that I wasn't done she was livid. She immediately marched me to the bedroom and summarily announced that I would be getting the spanking of my life, and that this spanking and all future spankings would be administered thusly: 1) I would be required to remove all my clothes. This would enhance my humiliation and feeling of helplessness, 2) I would be placed over Irene's knees to emphasize the fact that I was under the total control of and being spanked by a woman (thus multiplying the humiliation effect), 3) all spankings would be administered with the back side of a wooden hairbrush, and 4) I would be required to confess my wrongdoing, ask for the spanking, and thank her afterwards. 

I can vividly remember that I was very, very afraid at that time and my voice quivered as I confessed my wrongdoing and meekly requested that I be spanked for it. Irene then motioned for me to lie across her knees and shortly thereafter my life changed forever. I can't remember the exact number of times I was hit that day (surely over 100 times), but by 20 spanks I was in excruciating pain and by 50 spanks I was crying. That was the first time (though definitely not the last) that I cried during a spanking. Afterwards I sobbed uncontrollably for at least an hour and was sore for a week. 

My life changed that day and my Irene told me how intoxicating her power was and that we were never going back, so I'd better get used to it. Well now I know that I would never want to go back. I am absolutely sure that Irene's discipline sessions have made me a better person and I love her dearly for it.

Mike

If She Gets Angry Enough

Dear Aunt Kay,

The DWC Booklet “Please Discipline Me” has been a great help to me, especially parts one and two. Let me explain, visiting your website six months ago was a revelation to me. You certainly have a great depth of knowledge regarding discipline. After reading the real people section, as well as your tips and techniques, I summed up  the courage to talk to my wife about spanking me. She said at that time that she did not like the idea of spanking and did not want to talk any further about it. My approach was exactly the opposite of what it should have been. I tried further discussion several times, but it was apparent that she was turned off. Finally sending for the Booklet and after reading Part One it was quite apparent that, “It’s not about me; it’s all about her”.

Taking a new approach, the advice that you give is just extraordinary. Now I listen carefully to what my wife says and wants., adding more around the house chores, and giving as much attention and positive support as I can.  She seems to be very pleased with me at this point. So, after a fashion I raised the spanking subject again, only this time there was a printout of several letters from the real people section and the common questions list. Also, an invitation to a guided tour of the DWC website.

Her response was, “What is going on here? You have already talked about this subject. We have been married 34 years and this has never come up. I want to simplify my life - not complicate it. ” So, then I presented my core argument. 

“You are very good at confronting and scolding me when you are angry with me. You get the matter off your chest and clear the air, however, this leaves me feeling anguished and very guilt ridden. There is no closure for me; no emotional relief. If you were to spank me this would provide a mechanism whereby I could also find closure psychological relief and clear the air. The slate will then be clean for both of us with a fresh start.

My wife replied, “I will spank you if I get angry enough.” She said this with a kind shy smile. I am not sure what to make of it other than to keep my mouth shut and be very patient as my wife seldom gets really angry at me.

Paul

How I am Spanked

I showed your site to my wife, and she has certainly learned to spank.  Please post this in the Real People section.  I can't vouch for other such stories I read on the web, but I promise you this is what we live.

I have been tasked with describing in detail how I am spanked.  My wife has been spanking me, at my request, for the last 5 years or so.  I am spanked, primarily, for not completing agreed to tasks, and not pulling my weight or at least not creating more work for her.  Although she occasionally asks if I have completed them, more often I have to self-report.  Then we must wait until we have the house to ourselves.  I often know that when we get home from work, I will get spanked.

When we arrive at home, I am sent to prepare the room.  I get out the implements and put pillows on the corner of the bed.  Sometimes I get a deck of cards.  When we use the cards, we follow the game found in the DWC fiction story, “A Learning Experience”.  In our version, I get the face value of each card that doesn’t match the target and 20 for each joker.  In addition, if I match before drawing two jokers, we place the matched card back in the deck.  Also, our deck has four jokers.

My spankings are always on the bare bottom.  Depending on how Joy feels, she may choose to bare me herself.  If this is the case, she undoes my pants and pulls them to my ankles.  Then she grabs the leg openings of my briefs and yanks them down.  I feel at that time like when I was a little boy, having my bottom bared forcibly for a quick, on-the-spot spanking.

Other times, she tells me to pull down my pants.  With trembling hands, I undo my pants and push them down to my knees.  As slowly as I dare, I push my briefs down. 

My wife and I have been married for 27 years.  When I’m pulling down my underwear to prepare for a shower, I don’t feel anything.  When we’re being amorous, I’m aroused.  When I’m pushing down those briefs before a spanking, I am again 10 years old, knowing that as soon as they are down and my bottom is bare that I am seconds from my bottom being on fire.   Then I bend over.

Part of the spanking is yielding control.  When I bend over, with my legs spread over the corner of our bed, with pillows under my middle, my bottom crack opens up, and the most intimate places on my body are on display.  I am beginning to be humbled.

When the spanking starts, there is no warm up.  There is no attempt to get me used to it or make it easier to give a longer spanking.  This is punishment, meant to hurt, meant to leave marks, and meant to leave me crying and sobbing. 

My last spanking, on Wednesday, was intended to be very severe, because it was something for which I have been badly spanked several times.  She decided that I would get 100 with our frat paddle, 200 with our wooden spoon, 300 with our small paddle with holes, and 400 with our bath brush.  These were not done all together.

At 6:30, I woke her up and she gave me 100 with the frat paddle.  She moved them around, spanked slowly and very hard, and avoided much of the numbing effect.  We then went to work.  I knew there was more to come and had to anticipate it for the four hours I was at work.

At noon, I was to meet her.  We went to a friend’s house for which we are house-sitting.  My pants and shorts came down, I bent over, and got 200 with the wooden spoon.  It is an OXO spoon, with a thick handle and good rounded spoon.  I had tears in my eyes when it was over.  When she was done, I had deepening bruising all over my bottom, with several prominent bruises at the top of my bottom, where she had concentrated several of the whacks.  You could almost see the shape of the spoon in those bruises.  I went back to work with more pain in my bottom, knowing there was more to come.

When we arrived home after work, she took a nap and I made supper.  We drive in separate cars, so I arrived before her and got the implements out and the pillows set on the bed.  After supper she told me to get upstairs.  She decided to give me the 400 with the bath brush. 

I pulled down my pants and jockeys again and bent over.  This time she seemed to concentrate on the crease of both cheeks, where she had concentrated with the frat paddle.  By the time she finished the first 100, I was crying hard.   She leaned over and said, “That’s just the first 100.  Just think, 300 to go.” She took a break and I caught my breath.  She finished the last 300, and I cried hard the whole time, even after she stopped. She tenderly stroked my head as I lay there and gave me a warm, secure, comforting hug while I thanked her.  I want to be a less selfish husband, and I always thank her for working to help me improve in that.

We had several more hours at home alone, and I had cooking to do.  She told me to come tell her when I was at a point with time.  So, a couple hours later, I did.

Down came my pants and jockeys and I bent over.  By the time she was at 50, I was crying again.  There is no numbing from the bath brush or the little paddle she was using now.  I made it for her.  It is about the size of a hairbrush, but a little thicker, with holes drilled in it.

She finished the spanking and softly stroked my head and told me how much she loves me as I cried it out.  Then true to our form, I stood up and fell into her arms with my bottom still bare.  I cried a bit more in her arms, thanked her and apologized again.

It is Friday.  When I woke up on my back this morning, I was immediately aware of how much my bottom still hurts.  There are bad bruises, particularly at the creases of both cheeks.  There were little blisters where the holes of the paddle impacted.  It will hurt to pull up my underwear for several days, as will sitting.

Aunt Kay, your advice about how hard wives should spank is right on.  If I wanted some little play spanking, I wouldn’t be bending over like I do.  My wife has learned how to spank very hard, with little regard to either my crying or the appearance of my bottom.  As she’s arrived at this point, we are closer than ever.  She doesn’t order me around, but is committed to our marriage.  I do want to be less selfish.  It is worth feeling like a 10-year-old, worth humbling myself by baring my bottom in a non-sexual way, bending over and exposing my most private parts, and being spanked until I am crying, sobbing, with snot running down my nose.  And it was worth feeling the pain for the next week and seeing the bruises.  She says it is worth it, for all her effort.  She is more empowered and we are more deeply in love than ever.

Steve

Fantasy & Reality

[This is a story from a commenter on The Disciplinary Couples' Club and not part of the Real People Section of the Disciplinary Wives Club.]

Why do I need or want this?  I'm really not sure...

·      Maybe I need more clear boundaries, so life feels orderly and not out of control?

o   I didn't have any boundaries while growing up. Could it be that?

o   Maybe I just need the reassurance and orderliness of actions having consequences for the world to make sense? Of course they do, but it is not always as clear as "if this, then that..."

·      Maybe I want or need to change faster to become who I want to be and do what I want to do?

o   I am good, but I have huge dreams so I need to become ever better to achieve my goals.

o   Sometimes consequences are too long-term to change behavior effectively. For example, I know that if I eat less, I will lose weight, look better, be healthier, and live longer. But because these are all long term effects, it can be very hard to stay on a diet since I don't see immediate results.

o   Maybe I lack sufficient self-control, or I live too much in the moment? But for me to achieve my long term goals, I need short-term consequences to effect long-term change.

·      Maybe I sometimes need the closure of having paid for my transgressions?

o   Even if others forgive me, sometimes it is hard to forgive myself, and guilt accumulates.

o   There are few situations in life where wrongs are truly paid for (like speeding tickets)

o   Sometimes I just need to have a clean slate.

·      Maybe I get tired of being in charge, and need to be under someone else's control for a while?

o   It is lonely at the top, with everyone looking to me for answers all the time.

o   Maybe even though others look up to me, I know I am not quite as great as they think?

o   Or maybe I bully others sometimes, and need to feel what it is like to be bossed around?

o   Either way, making difficult decisions is tiring. It can be a relief to have all decisions out of my hands, even if only for a time.

It could be any, all, or none of these reasons.  I'm not sure, but it doesn't really matter, because I do know that I crave "real" discipline, punishment, and control, that which most people would rather avoid. This need for control and discipline is a perpetual enigma which forever lives in the never-never land between fantasy and reality. My fantasy and reality are far apart and in direct conflict:

·      In my fantasy, boundaries are imposed and enforced.  In reality, I rebel against any boundaries.

·      In my fantasy, my actions have consequences.  In reality, I try to avoid negative consequences.

·      In my fantasy, I crave punishment.  In reality, I fear punishment. 

·      In my fantasy, I must give up control.  In reality, I love to be in control.

·      In my fantasy, I am weak and powerless.  In reality, I am strong and powerful.

I am incredibly fortunate because I have someone who loves me enough to understand and fulfill my unusual needs and desires. It is complicated by the fact that my fantasy needs it to be "real," but at the same time, we have a great relationship and equal partnership, so our reality needs it to be "fantasy." In the end, we allow the fantasy to enter our reality from time to time, but our relationship will never be in any way defined by it, but rather by our love for each other. We are loving, we are in love, and everything we do is inspired by love. Even the very firmness, strictness, harshness and at times almost meanness that she unleashes as part of this fantasy ultimately flow from our love for each other. It is very ironic that this fantasy which is based on power and control (both of which have absolutely no place in love) makes us ever closer to each other and more in love.

So here I am waiting, remembering the last time and anticipating the next, not knowing when it will be; It could be tomorrow, next week, or next month.  I crave it because the whole experience is unbelievably exciting, and not knowing when it will next happen only adds to the excitement.  At the same time I also fear the real emotion involved, since I don’t like disappointing her. As more time passes from the last punishment, the desire grows and I want it to happen again. But in order for it to have meaning, it has to be for real infractions and she has to have emotions to vent. Because I love her and only want to make her happy, I will never try to hurt her feelings, so infractions are not intentional, but rather things that I do without thinking or that result from my bad habits.  Also, because she is kind and understanding, she might not choose to punish me even when I deserve it.  However, living together inevitably ensures that infractions will happen from time to time, and at least at some of these times, she will be in the mood to use my fantasy to make her feelings clear.

When she decides to punish me, I am immediately overcome by powerful emotions as my fantasy collides with the reality of my impending punishment. My heart races and I feel a surge of adrenaline bordering on fear. I may think it is unfair or undeserved and try to defend my actions or plead my innocence, but ultimately, it was me who asked for this, who gave her this authority, and who said that her word is final, so I give in to the inevitable.  As soon as the punishment actually starts, everything becomes very real very quickly, and the fantasy is forgotten for a time, totally replaced by reality.  I am initially surprised by how it is more painful than I remembered from before, since I tend to forget the pain and remember only the experience (kind of like having a baby). At first, I try to fight the punishment and just endure until the end.  I am more focused on being strong  than thinking about why I am being punished. As the punishment continues, I start to feel like I can't take any more, and that it will never end.  But of course it doesn't end yet, since at that point true punishment is just beginning.  The pain, embarrassment, guilt and emotion keep building as the punishment progresses and they overpower all my defenses one by one, until in the end I surrender to and even embrace the punishment, knowing that I deserve it and need it. At that point, I relax and just absorb the lesson being taught.  Finally the punishment can end.

However real the punishment might have been, as soon as it is over, the conflict between reality and fantasy begins once again. Over the following days, the punishment (with all of the feelings of fear, excitement, pain, and embarrassment) is ever-present in my mind.  As I sit down, or perhaps as I walk, I feel the effects of the punishment.  The times I am not consciously aware of it, I am unconsciously replaying the punishment, what was said, what needs to change, etc. But as I remember what happened, I am seeing the reality of what happened through the lens of fantasy.  Yes it was painful, embarrassing, etc., but it was also very, very hot!

Again, THIS is why it works (at least for me). Even though I don't always understand this relationship between fantasy and reality, it is BECAUSE of this paradox that it is so powerful for me. As we walk over this bridge between fantasy and reality, it all at once fulfills my strongest fantasies, changes me,  and strengthens our love.

·      It greatly enhances communication. I hear and understand much better than if she just used verbal communication. Because of the sudden harshness and seriousness, and because it plays to my deepest fantasy, the issue is given maximum attention, but in a positive way, rather than negative. Rather than just try to evade the issue and make it go away, I actually listen. Since relationships are entirely dependent on communication, this is incredibly powerful and makes our relationship bulletproof.

·      It changes my thinking or my mindset about the situation or behavior. Over the days that follow, the whole scene and all the emotions of it is on constant replay through my mind, and I see the situation more clearly from her viewpoint. As my mindset changes, it changes my behavior.

·      It greatly increases intimacy. In life, I am strong and always stand up for her, provide for her, and protect her.  But for a time, I am completely vulnerable to her. This vulnerability enables intimacy which creates a bond that others will never feel.

·      It makes me love her and feel loved even more, because she cares enough about me to do anything and everything to make my fantasies reality. Sure, if she was just cold and distant, it would make a point, but I would be angry with her and would feel defensive and might pull away. Instead, she has made my fantasy reality, exactly at the time she might not feel much like doing me favors.  

Because she is using my own fantasy to communicate her own feelings, I fully hear what she says, I see things from a different perspective, I feel closer to her than ever, and it makes me want to meet her every need because of our deep love for each other.  This strengthens our relationship and empowers me to make changes that allow our lives to be better, happier, and less stressful as I become who I want to be and we achieve our dreams. 

Taking Control and Post-Orgasm Spankings

[This is a story from a commenter on The Disciplinary Couples' Club and not part of the Real People Section of the Disciplinary Wives Club.]

I am going to comment on two themes running through your last two questions and the comments made to them. One is about a wife “seizing control and related is the notion of whether you are ready to submit completely to her authority. My experience (with two different women) is that you don’t know if you are ready until she draws that line in the sand and demands you accept discipline. She has to seize control and then you find out. What took time in both my relationships was that my disciplinarians sensed I was ambivalent and so they hesitated to take that final step. I think it is hard in our culture for many women to demand obedience and you really have to show you are ready to submit to their authority. With my girlfriend it never really happened but my wife pretty early in our relationship insisted I accept a spanking for something I felt was unfair (at the time). That spanking happened and I realized that emotionally I could not stop her even though physically I could have. That was a defining moment for us when I realized she would spank when she decided and I couldn’t stop it. I think something like that has to happen in every DD relationship if it is to become real. As much as we think we want discipline our women have to seize and use their authority before it all clicks. Because we can’t discipline ourselves is why we ask our wives or girlfriends to do it for us. The other issue is being made to orgasm before punishment. Any male who has been punished this way would probably do almost anything to avoid another. It probably is the purest kind of adult punishment and I doubt there is a male who is not reduced to tears spanked that way. I do think willingness to accept this is an acid test for being ready to submit completely. Both women I have been involved with demanded authority to use this to enhance punishment rather than to humiliate. My girlfriend told me she felt it a limit on her authority until I agreed to do it but after I did a couple of times she never used it again. My wife also saw it as a control issue but she does actually use it to punish me for one particular misbehavior. It just my opinion but if you are looking for a way to show your wife she is in charge offer to take your next spanking after orgasm. Believe me she will understand what you are offering and after it’s over you will have no doubt who is in charge.

Alan

Tears

[This is a story from a commenter on The Disciplinary Couples' Club and not part of the Real People Section of the Disciplinary Wives Club.]

“Broken” is a word many find uncomfortable but it just means a deep surrender to the authority of your wife and subsequent obedience after you have been “broken”. I don’t think crying is necessarily a part of it although crying is a sure sign it has occurred. To me being broken means you accept totally your wife’s authority, give up any rebellion and accept punishment from her without argument or resistance. It happened to me the first time with a girlfriend before I met my wife. With her at that time I sometimes stopped a spanking when she took it far beyond anything I wanted or thought I could take. This greatly annoyed her and eventually would have destroyed our relationship. But this time something happened when I reached that point because one second I knew I had to stop it and the next I was telling myself I deserved what I was getting ( I really did) and I had an obligation to take it until she was done. I just let go to the pain and the embarrassment and stopped struggling against the spanking. Before she was done my bum was completely numb and I was limp and crying over her lap. Usually when she spanked me she told me I was getting a lesson in obedience or she was going to teach me obedience. After that spanking I told her I had learned that lesson but another way I could have put it was that I had been broken or disobedience had been broken, all the same thing I think. As far as I remember I never resisted her spanking me after that and I have never disobeyed my wife when she told me I was getting spanked. So for me at least after I was broken to a woman’s authority it was permanent.

Alan

Stumbling Into a Spanking

[This is a story from a commenter on The Disciplinary Couples' Club and not part of the Real People Section of the Disciplinary Wives Club.]

Reading about all these semipublic spankings makes me wonder if anyone who wasn’t supposed to ever stumble into one of them. That happened to me once years ago although the spanking was actually administered in my buddy’s kitchen by his wife so technically I suppose it wasn’t semipublic. My buddy (who goes unnamed) and I had a regular Saturday morning golfing date when I would pick him up at his house early morning and we would grab breakfast before hitting the links. This time he wasn’t waiting outside for me so I opened the kitchen door off the deck to call him. Instead what I saw froze me in my tracks. My buddy, pants and underpants around his ankles was over his wife’s lap while she was vigorously spanking him with a strap of some kind. He was in no position to see me but she did and smiled ever so slightly as I backed out the door. I drove around the block probably a dozen times hoping he would be out waiting for me so I wouldn’t have to go back in. But he wasn’t so I went to the front door and knocked to be met by his still smiling wife who said he “was running a little behind” and would be out soon. In another ten minutes or so he did come out looking I suspect like I do just after my wife warms my ass but he didn’t say anything about it or even acknowledge he was late. As far as I know he has no idea I saw it (unless his wife told him) and he probably has no idea my wife spanks me too. It’s weird when I think about it. We are still good friends and both have wives that spank but we have never shared any of it with each other. Two women in the same situation would probably talk it to death. Go figure

Recent Spankings

[This is a story from a commenter on The Disciplinary Couples' Club and not part of the Real People Section of the Disciplinary Wives Club.]

My most recent spanking was my weekly maintenance spanking this past Sunday evening - it my usual maintenance spanking - about a hundred whacks of the paddle/hairbrush (this week it was with the Vermont brush) - bare bottom, otk - and sobbing for at least half of it. My wife believes that all husband spankings - even maintenance - should result in tears for it to be truly effective (with the occasional exception of a playful or sexual spanking).

However, the spanking before was on Memorial Day - and it was quite memorable. My wife's sister eventually came to learn of our lifestyle and over the last couple of years has witnessed a few of my spankings, a couple of times holding my legs at one end of the couch while my wife paddled me at the other end of the couch. So, it was no big shock, when on Memorial Day, as the three of us were together around the kitchen table, that I was told to drop my drawers and bend over the table following an unfortunate sarcastic remark that had slipped out. What was shocking though was my wife returning from the bedroom with two paddles and then handing one over to her sister. She said that since I had been rude in front of both of them, that I deserved a good whacking from both of them - whereupon, one got on each side of me, and they proceeded to take turns whacking my rear end. I got about 25 from each with plenty of sting, yelping, and dancing but without the steady rhythm I was able to resist the sobbing that my wife almost always brings me to within the first 30 or 40 whacks. But - then my wife asked my sister to "finish me up" and to give me about 50 good whacks without stopping. Well, she had watched my wife enough, and was warmed up enough, that she went at it with a gusto, and to my shame, she reduced me to tears about half way through. But I could not help but appreciate her pose as I got up and pulled my pants up - leaning back against the wall, arms crossed and still holding the paddle, with a satisfied, smug look on her face. Both sisters seem to be natural DWC ladies - although neither realized it till middle age. For me, it was a milestone - my first adult spanking by another lady, but I have already been assured it won't be the last - for starters, her sister will be administering my weekly maintenance spanking one weekend next month when my wife is out of town for business. --Al